#and you had to pretend like you were happy that suddenly everything you've ever known about yourself is different

[serpercival]

god help me i have made up a childhood friend and eventual boyfriend for a relatively minor character in a show nobody watches but SPECIFICALLY for that version of the character in my insane au. Exactly five of you will read the fic if I write it but oughhhhhhhhhhh i am tempted to write it

[dietmountaindewbae]

what about fetus sub Al?

xxii. room on fire

alex turner x reader

word count: 7784

summary: Alex (btb!), Andy, and Matt invite you to see The Strokes live in London

warnings: sp*t, unpr*tected s*ex

song recommendation: automatic stop by the strokes

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Closing shut your locker you grab your heavy backpack on your shoulders, the day felt like it was slower than ever but you were happy your next period was a little more fun, literature with your favorite teacher, you read a few pages of the book you were reading in class at home when you couldn't sleep, hearing some music while at it, a lot of people hated to read with music but it just fed your imagination.

Suddenly you heard three voices calling out your name from the hallway, running up to you, "You won't believe it!" Andy said to you, "You won't, you won't!" He said as he giggled from the excitement of Alex and Matt catching up to him.

"Won't believe what? Why? What's going on?" You asked them, they were all jumping up and down nudging at each other's shoulder, smiling at a piece of paper, they were acting like three little girls finding out their crush likes them.

"You will shit yourself!" Matt said.

"It's not me that has" The bell rang meaning to go inside the class, the teacher could be fun and all but hated delay, "I can't with you three seriously, I'll see you in class" You walked in, Alex and the rest following behind you, and that's when they all circled you, "Quit the bullocks, what's going on?"

"Guess who's coming to London?" Alex said, he was blushing from the joy, and you hummed.

"The vines?" You guessed, they all said no with their head, if they were this excited it had to be huge, and that's when it clicked, "...The strokes?" You said with a hint of doubt, Alex finally showed you that piece of paper, and you gasped so loudly, "Really?!"

"It's official, we have to go!" Matt announced.

"Go where mister Helders?" The teacher came inside making Matt's smile turn into a serious one, he looked like he had shat himself... again.

"N-Nowhere" He answered.

"Go back to your seat, please" He nodded sitting behind you while Alex sat next to you.

"Come with us, love, we don't always get to be 16 and go to a Strokes concert" He whispered to you, "Everyone is coming!" He insisted.

"Of course, I want to go, I'll do my best to convince my mum.... plus, what's the point of having a strokes shirt if I haven't seen them live?"

"Young lady if you're going to socialize with Alex let it be outside" The teacher raised his voice, the rest teasing the both of you with their stares and giggles, you and Alex were close, but not as close as you'd liked, he hardly ever spoke to you about a secret he had, or when he was feeling down, yes, he did it sometimes, but not as much as Matt or Andy talked to you, you tried to make him, but it maybe wasn't as easy for him to trust you, you wondered why, you've known each other since middle school, he wasn't always like this.

"Sorry," You said giggling along with Alex.

"Do you think everyone at school will go? Like... Lauren maybe?" Lauren, what else could you say? She was your friend, not your best friend but you hung out with her often, Alex and Lauren talked a lot too, he said it was friendly but what Lauren said was different, you didn't know why but when he asked you about her you felt a little off.

"O-Oh, I don't know, maybe" She liked pop music better but she pretended to like them because of Alex, she liked him but he played dumb about it, and when Lauren noticed that she began to play dumb as well, hoping that it'll grow some interest on him, maybe it was working.

"I hope you can come with us, we'll book a room and everything, I'll talk about it later with me mum"

"How's Penny?" You asked dearly, she was the kindest and coolest woman you'd ever met, and for the rest of the class, you kept whispering to Alex about how excited you felt.

[...]

A few days passed and soon enough Andy got tickets for the three and begged their mums for a room in any place they could get them, your mum wouldn't agree to let you go with three boys to London for a massive gig of some "messy" rock band, you were short on money, and for what you knew everyone was going, except for you, either you got a job fast or not go at all.

"Girls, you won't believe it!"Lauren announced during lunch some other band would come to London as well, she already had her tickets to The Strokes, but she sounded way more pumped about this other band, so you sat there, ears pitched, on the look for what was she going to say next.

"So what are you going to do?" Your friend asked.

"I'm selling my ticket for The Strokes," Your heart skipped a beat and you were fast to say you wanted it.

"How much?" She gave you the price, but you were still short though, you had to think of a bribe she couldn't say no to, "How about I give you what I have on me and... do your homework for a month" Lauren laughed at you.

"Until the end of the year!" She demanded, you stood your ground.

"It's for a month, you should be thanking me" It was a good deal, you weren't just giving her money but you were saving her from getting kicked out of school for skipping class to go out with his 20-something boyfriend-situation.

"Deal" She handed you the ticket, and you gasped and hugged her, "Have fun" She rolled her eyes.

"Thank you!" You took your things and ran to get to Alex, all three of them had breakfast outside by the hidden threes to have a smoke, you had never felt so excited before, your little heart was about to beat out of your chest, and your lower abdomen hurting because you were running too fast, pushing people away, until you crashed with a boy falling on your ass, "Oh, Alex!"

"Love, a-are you ok?! Oh God, I'm so sorry I didn't see you" He helped you, picking you up from the floor, and you gasped his name, "What's wrong?"

"Guess who's going to the gig?" He gasped as you showed him the ticket.

"You're coming with us?!" He spun you around, picking you up in the air, "Oh my god! That's so great" He hugged you so tightly you were happy to feel short on air, "I knew you would manage to go, so I booked an extra room for you, I knew you would make it" You hugged him close, it was so nice and considerate for him, you didn't expect for him to do such a thing.

"I'll give you back every penny! You didn't have to" He shrugged and waved it off, scratching the back of his head.

"I suppose that's what mates do, right? Besides, you shouldn't be thanking me, you should be thanking Penny" You broke into laughter with him, your eyes locked in a stare, "We made it!"

"I know, we're going to see The fuckin' Strokes!" You yelled, "We're going to fuckin' London to see The Strokes baby!" You both jumped up and down like little children, you were so happy feeling the euphoria of just the thought, and then it died as your mind couldn't escape reality, 'not that fast' it said, "Shit..."

"What?" He says.

"Me mum, she's gonna kill me... and I need the money for the train!" Alex pursed his lips and you massaged your forehead, a pulsing pain in your head increased, and your stress murdered your excitement.

"We'll figure summat out... leave it to us"

That same afternoon, around 6 o'clock your door was almost knocked over by the various and brutal knocks on it, you went running downstairs in your pajamas and a giant wet towel on your head, "Oi!"

"It's us!" Andy said from the other side of the door.

"What the fuck are you-" They shushed you, coming in one after the other, you pulled Alex to the side, "What are you doing?" You whispered.

"Taking care of it just as I promised... nice pajamas" He joked, your snoopy pajamas were your favorite, and you followed Alex into the kitchen where your mum was. You are certain that she won't let you go after this, she hates it whenever people just come into the house with no warning, but she said hello to all of them with a warm hug and a smile, they bribed your mum with her favorite biscuits and tea.

That evening, they made a PowerPoint slide called "10 reasons why your daughter should be allowed to go with us"

"No. 1 reason is..." Matt said, "She'll be well taken care of, protected, and have her own space"

"No.2 is, she's the only one with enough brains to lead us through London," Said Andy.

"No 3. is, we're proper lads, and we'll behave as such" Alex smiles at you.

Seven slides after, and a couple of biscuits and cups of steaming tea, your mum agreed to the proposal, mainly because they had taken the time to make the slides and gave her plenty of reasons to trust you with their company, after all, she's practically best friend's with Matt's mum and had a good concept of Alex and Andy, maybe she was in a good mood today. After the boys left, you were left alone with your mum cleaning the dishes as she gave you the money for your train ticket, and you spent the night packing with a smirk on your lips, listening to the strokes on your MP3 all night.

You kept counting the minutes to see them, and when the time arrived you were bright and early at the station, smiling at Alex when you saw him waiting for you at the entrance, "Ready?"

"I was born ready for this moment" You exaggerated making him break into laughter, "Where's Andy and Matt?"

"They took the train earlier to check us in, so once there, we'll just shower and go" You jumped up and down feeling your heart pumping faster, "I'm delighted you came with us actually, so happy"

"Why?" You said once inside the train, Alex like the gentleman he is and the one he promised to be, put your bags away, "Dips on the window" You said.

"Knew it," He sat next to you, unwrapping his scarf, "Well... to be honest, I don't think Lauren likes the strokes with the same passion as me and you do"

"But... even if she doesn't like them, I thought you liked her," You said to him puzzled, "I mean... you're always talking to her, hugging, kissing her cheek... thought you'd be happier if she came" He even kissed her at a party once, even though he says he doesn't remember doing such, you did, and you didn't want to sound so bothered by it but you were, it made you feel strange, even a little jealous.

"But that doesn't mean I like her, besides, I think she only likes them bigger boys, way more fitter than me" He cleared out, and you playfully squeezed his arm.

"You're quite fit Alex, don't say that" He scratched the back of his head again, you notice he often does it when he's nervous, he takes a peek at the book you take out from your purse, along with your music and your wired headphones.

"What 'ave you got there?" He takes your book away from you, it was an edition of Edgar Allan Poe's poetry, then he grabbed your MP3, going through your music, he had grown interested, he didn't understand why he wanted to touch your stuff, wanted to see what's inside your purse, your books, your music library, your head, he wanted to know more, he always did, "You win the prize for the most interesting girl... not that you're not pretty, you're beautiful" He talked to you with such shyness it made you feel special, and the look in his eyes, the little sparkle in them, he bites down on his tongue, feeling as though he had completely fucked up with the words he chose to say, you weren't answering and he was panicking, you stared at him with a grin on your face, it made him feel nervous, his stomach going in circles.

"Thank you" You answered, he could finally breathe, "D'ya wanna share?" He hummed as a yes, discreetly sitting closer to you so you could share your music, and your book with him, you smiled at him, watching the threes go by one by one, all in a row, a beautiful landscape hidden in between them, watching them go by so fast made your eyes tired, your head fell to his shoulder you were quick to take it away.

"Oh sorry," You said to him taking a little space but he pulled you in, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as an instinctive, a few butterflies woke in your stomach, and in him too, even if he wasn't sure what was he doing, he went with it when he saw a beautiful smile appear on your lips.

"Don't worry, you can fall asleep, that's what me shoulder is for" He smiled at you so kindly, it made your heart melt, his sweet cologne, his soft skin, and his coffee brown eyes, you could spend the whole train ride counting his long eyelashes, and then, you fell asleep on the crook of his neck, and he rested his head on yours, you felt safe and warm.

A few hours on the train, and one taxi drive later you arrived at the hotel, the boys ordered some pizza, but you were thinking about looking flawless, so you juggled between having pizza and applying eyeshadow, it was hard but it paid it off very nicely, you heard one thousand knocks at your door.

"Can we come in?!" Matt asked, you opened the door with your toothbrush in your mouth.

"Hey! I swear, give me two seconds" You gathered your hair into a ponytail to spit on the sink, Matt, and Andy laughed at how funny you sounded, but Alex was in awe, you had chosen to wear your strokes shirt but you customized it into your own original off the shoulder shirt with some holes poked in it, you had traced the outline of the boys from a magazine, and painted them on your shirt with black paint and a thin brush, it fitted you big like a dress, fishnets, and your dirty old motorcycle boots, but what had him so invested on you were your eyes, even in the dark they sparkled, and your red plump lipstick.

All of them were dressed in their best gowns, wearing light washed ripped denim jeans, chunky belts under their graphic tees, and tracky shoes, zip ups, and denim jackets, Alex's messy and spiky hair looked cute on him, he chose to wear a white striped blue navy shirt, ripped denim, his jean jacket and dirty reeboks.

"Take as long as you need" He whispered, again Andy and Matt laughed at Alex signing him to sit on the bed next to them.

"You got that look on your face man" Matt teased, while Alex denied it.

"What face? What look?" Matt signed him to look at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were flushed, his mouth dry, and his heart going fast, he looked flustered.

"That face" Alex rolled his eyes and gave him a little smack on the head.

"Fuck off," Alex said to Matt.

"I can see little birds around your head and everything" Andy teased, but as Alex was about to say something else you walked out.

"Done! Let's go, let's go!" You grabbed your giant messy leather stubbed purse fixing your hair before leaving, "Wait, do you guys think I look ok?" Matt and Andy put their thumbs up, they were in a hurry.

Alex was the only one who came back and looked at you from bottom to top, his eyes smiled at yours, and said, "Gorgeous" He grabbed your hand and shut the door.

The venue wasn't big enough to fit the number of people inside, all pilled up together outside the Alexandra Palace, it felt like a huge ball of mass, you were holding on to Alex's arm for dear life, shaking from the cold, he noticed it and gave you his jacket since he knew you would be too embarrassed to ask, he felt like he had acquired a roll, as your protector, someone who not for one second would take their eyes off of you, even if his arms looked so thin they were strong, he made sure to take good care of you, and not only that, he proved himself he was good enough to be with someone like you. He hadn't noticed how much he liked you until you softly slept on his shoulder, his stomach felt the butterflies much bigger, wilder, his heart had warmed up for you, and he never admitted to it, until spending that ride on the train, he had always wondered with that idea on his head, he always wanted to get to know you better, take you out, but he couldn't, he knew he wouldn't ever, he never wanted to be your friend, and whenever he talked to you he knew if he had the chance to make out with you he would, and that would ruin everything because he knew he wouldn't let go of you after that, it was different with Lauren, she was the only thing that kept him from acknowledging the fact that he only wanted you. Once inside you pushed your way to the front, Alex behind you, his arms caged you against the barricade, grasping it for dear life, making sure not to squeeze you as more people tried to make their way to the front.

Suddenly the lights changed color, and everyone started screaming as Julian came out from the back, you jumped up and down like a little girl, he was so hot when he looked all sweaty and messy, everyone began to cheer and you joined in, it was huge, your euphoric heart was beating in your ears when they opened the gig with Reptilia, you were having the time of your life, hugging the people you loved the most, taking pictures of everyone all together, you never expected to meet them, you never believed in the right place, right time until you teamed up with them, even if it sounded silly, those boys really made you laugh, mostly the one that grasped your arm tightly, you took his arm away, but quickly grabbing his hand, for a moment his heart had shrunk but rushed back when you took his hand, and your eyes so tender, he was melting.

You found yourself jumping up and down along during Soma with Matt, just like two kids, the crowd was wild, you were screaming at the top of your lungs every single letter of their lyrics, dancing with each of the boys, there was crowd surfers, people jumping on each other, Alex grabbed your hand and your bag to assure you had fun, he was having enough fun watching you smile, and sing, twisting your feet, swaying your hips, your hairy was messy, and your eyeliner a bit runny but in his eyes, you never looked so beautiful, Matt nudged Alex's shoulder.

"Kiss her!" Matt yelled, "Go on, take your shot either you take it or leave it!" Alex laughed so hard, Matt had planned perfectly his joke as Take it or Leave it began, he could protect you, and be tough, but when he had to speak and tell you something so risky, he got scared of losing you, not only losing your friendship but also losing the little you two had built together over the years, he was so scared of not being the boy you needed, but he had nothing else to lose, the timing was perfect, there was no better place, he took the shot, and if things went wrong he didn't care anymore, he would still be there even if he had to start in first base all over again.

He called out your name, you were dancing with some random girl you met, and you turned to face him, he didn't look ok, he looked pale, and his sweat was cold, "Are you ok?!"

"Yes, I'm ok but-" He held your hands together, "I have to tell you summat!" People started to push you far from him, you were suffocating, not strong enough to fight it.

"What!?" Your ears were ringing from the loud music, he was trying to say something but he was fighting himself mentally.

"I have to-"

"Al, come closer I can't hear you!" The struggle to find the right words to phrase what he wanted to say was unbelievable, he felt so nervous and excited by the hope that maybe you could like him too, so he didn't think about it anymore.

"I like you!" He screamed but the music was only getting louder and the crowd rowdier, the only way to make it out in one piece was by jumping and throwing yourself to the front, you were struggling to reach Al as the crowd went crazy.

"You what?!" You asked again, you saw him annoyed, that look in his eyes was different, he was looking at you differently, he grabbed your elbow, finally being pressed up against him, he hugged your waist securing you in his arms, "I'm sorry I couldn't-"

"Shut up" He crashed his lips against yours, cupping your cheeks, deepening the kiss as the rush took over him, his body pressed up against yours, the room was silent and his lips on fire, his mouth tasting like heaven, his lips kissing yours until he was running out of air, he demanded more, so his tongue slipped inside your mouth in an eager but lovely kiss, it had set free all of the butterflies on your stomach, he was happy you returned the kiss just as eager as him, you bite down on his lower lip before breaking the kiss.

"Al, is that what you were trying to do?!" You smiled at him.

"Yes!" He sighed getting closer to your ear, "I like you, I have for a while now... I can't help meself when I'm around you!" He gave you another peck on your lips, it was softer and sweeter than the others but it ignited a fire within you, it tingles, and  you ached to be closer to him, it was never close enough, "I was too shy to tell you before cause I thought you wouldn't like me, I made excuses but I don't care anymore I just wanted to tell you, that's why I never made a close friendship with you, I never wanted to be your friend!"

Your cheeks burned as you kissed him again, it was more euphoric, scaling up another step, this time his hands dropped to your hips unconsciously, he pulled you closer, his arm around your lower back, while your hand was scattered on his hair, the crowd reduced to just you and him, only in that room, gasping for air but hungry for more, he couldn't handle it any longer and neither could you.

"I do like you, and a lot but I was also too scared to tell you," He shushed you with a kiss, he had always imagined this in his head, he always had a soft spot for you, always so caring about the others, a true honest friend, and not only were your looks, it was everything about you, he didn't want anyone else, he had to make it official, and the thrill got the best of him.

"Do you wanna be me girlfriend?!" He yells loud enough for Matt and Andy to hear it, they rush to save you two since you were getting further and further away from the front, they wrap their arms around you two, pushing the people away, jumping up and down, making Alex hug you tighter to him.

"So what do you say?!" Andy screams into your ear, Alex's brain couldn't decipher what made his heart go as fast, maybe it was the fact there was a small chance that you might say no, or the fact he was watching his favorite band live, with the girl that set his heart on fire since that kiss.

"I say yes!" You screamed to Alex, making him blush hard, you kissed his cheek and Alex tried his best to not hug you as tight since he was all sweaty, but you didn't care, you pulled him in closer, kissing his sweaty forehead.

"She said yes!" The crowd cheers you all up when they hear Andy announcing to everyone your answer, some of them were nice enough to make room for your little circle to go back to the front, Matt and Andy climbing the barricade while Alex held you the same way he did before, he gently puts his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, and you cup his cheek kissing his lips and his nose. He gets hypnotized by the way your body moves against him, the sweat that runs from your neck to your collarbone making your chest shine, the little strap of your black bra falling to your shoulder, and he doubts it but he slides it back in place kissing your shoulder, you knew this was something he was afraid to do, but he felt enough trust to do it, you smile at him, dancing, sweating and crying from the excitement, you truly felt alive in this moment, this is something that was meant for you, you were sad about the concert ending but it was the start of something new, only one more song left, and they sing a cover from The Clash as a perfect way to close it, you sing with Alex but his hands travel down to your hips to make you face him, and he took a step forward to kiss you with a tremendous passion, Matt and Andy cheering for him, you had never thought Alex would be like that, so eager, people were pushing Alex, making you bend your back over the barricade, and you laugh as you see Julian's face upside down but nevertheless Alex leans in to kiss you just like that, he pulled you back in to not let you get hurt, you feel it inside him, he wanted to touch more than just your hips, and that shyness only made you get hotter, you grab his hands and put them in your bum, feeling his cheeks get hotter, and your tongue goes inside his mouth the moment he catches his breath, you gave him obvious signs that you wanted more, and he was ready to give you more.

The rush back into the hotel made you leave Matt and Andy in the lobby, the moment they turned their heads, you two had disappeared into the elevator, being all over each other, all sweaty and sticky, you had little to no clothes, and you were even feeling hotter as Alex hands grasp your bum the same way he did at the concert, you were blushing hard, he was following your lead, paying attention to your moves, feeling good about himself whenever he heard you sigh, but that wasn't enough for him, he wanted more noises, more touching.

The elevator door opens and you grab his hand, opening the door in a rush, and kicking it shut with your dirty shoes, walking to the bed and laying down gently in the white and cold bedsheets, you shiver, and he stares at you with a smile, "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks, just to make sure he wasn't getting carried away or even making you do things you weren't a hundred percent sure of doing.

"Very" You answer with confidence, crawling across the bed and pulling him to sit down on the bed, you throw your leg over him, straddling him in between your thighs, "And you?" He pulls you in closer, sitting you directly on his crotch, that was his big answer.

"Can I?" His hands gently pull on the ends of your shirt, you give him a nod, and with the same gentleness he takes off your shirt, throwing it to the ground, you wore only black panties and that same beautiful black bra, it was simple but quite enough for him to get him all worked up, it was the first time he had seen any girl like that, ever, "Shit... is it too late to confess summat?"

"No, no, what's the matter?" You ask, getting a bit nervous about what he was thinking.

"I've never-... I haven't, you know... done it before?" You try to not giggle from his self-aware nervous self, you know if you did, he would get even more embarrassed, "I know you did it with... you know who, and I just... haven't had the chance, this is possibly as far as I've come to" He giggles from the nerves, and you massage his shoulders to make him feel at ease.

"And Lauren?" He shrugs.

"Never actually did anything with her" He confessed, "I just held back, wasn't ready... but now I am" You lean in to kiss him very slowly, "Now I feel stupid"

"Why?" You stayed quiet to hear his answer, you knew if you spoke too soon maybe your chance would get ruined, and you wanted him so badly, and he didn't want to feel unprepared.

"'Cause I've got this gorgeous girl in all of her fuckin' glory and I don't know what to do" You hug him closely, your chin on his head, and his hands lightly caress your back up and down slowly, you know exactly what to do.

"Just... relax, and enjoy the ride, don't think about anything... just let your body do it, ok? There are no wrong answers" You knew if he had no time to think then his heart and his body would do the rest for him, so you lay him down in the bed, feeling his shirt climbing up his hips, his boxer's band clinging onto his jeans, and your fingertips run over that uncovered piece of skin turning it into goosebumps, you look at him through your lashes as you hold the button of his jeans in between your fingers, he nods and you unbutton them, taking his zipper down and pulling his jeans off, he wore grey boxers, his cock battling his way out through them, his tip was red and warm, peeling off his skin as it grew bigger and harder in your hands, his hands run through his face and cover his mouth as he sees how your mouth opens to suck him off, the feeling of your soft tongue around his cock felt so good, kissing his tip and sucking it in your lips, your back arching as you tongue presses flat down on his cock licking it up like lollie, and spit on it, tugging it out.

"Oh... that's so fuckin' good love" His eyes roll back, biting down on his lip, his hands search for your hair, caressing it at first to then push your head down against his cock, you were determined to take him all in but you couldn't without gagging, you choke and Alex gets worried, had he done something wrong? It sounded like he did, "Are you ok... I'm so sorry" You grab his hand and hold it tightly.

"Alex... it's ok, don't apologize for that, you're just too big for my mouth" You climb into his lap, "What are you doin' with that shirt on, baby?" You tease him, enchanting him with your seductive voice, he immediately takes it off but never lets his eyes tear away from yours, you run your hands down his chest, so warm and soft, "That's better..." Then he takes the opportunity to unclasp your bra, sliding it down your arms and throwing it to the floor along with your clothes, he sighs as his hands slowly grab your tits and knead them gently in his hands.

"You're so sexy..." He kisses you slowly, running his hands down your smooth and fragile body, his fingertips grazing your back, he wants to touch every inch of your skin but wants to keep something from you, something that won him over, "Do you mind keeping the tights on?" He asks in his most shy and quiet voice.

"Why? Is that a turn-on for your Turn-er?" You tease him and he says yes with his head, now he has flipped your body to make you lay down, pinning your hands to the sides, and a smudge smile crawls to your face.

"You'll see now" He crawls down your body, peppering it with wet and loving kisses, he rips them apart with his hands, pushing your panties to the side, your pussy glistening with your juices, "Fuckin 'ell, you're so fucking pretty... I wanna taste it" He hints, you hum a yes immediately pushing his head down in between your legs, your fingers rub your clit and spread your wetness all over your pussy, getting him invested, if he could, he would watch you do that for hours, but when you were ready, he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, eating your pussy as if he was kissing you, spreading open your lips with his thumbs, and letting his tongue dance around your clit in circles.

"Fuck... me!" You choke out, pulling his hair and pushing his head on your pussy, his thumb pressed down on your clit, studying how your body moves with every touch or simple movement, he was amazed, he didn't even know what he was doing but if it felt right for you, it was right for him, and he thought about what could your body want, he was too ashamed to ask what he could do next, so he decided to check up on you.

"Am I any good?" You manage to push yourself up and say.

"Don't speak, just keep going" He submits to your orders, and keeps giving you head, he went deeper down, sucking on your little hole and pushing his tongue inside it, it turned him on so much, the flavor of your cunt, it was special, he could be smothered in it all day, his lips turned plump as he sucks harder on your clit and he goes back down to fucking your hole with his tongue, the sensation so overwhelming on your body, you feel something rising from there, all piling into your tummy, he sees you turning and twisting on the bed, your legs quiver, he sees the green light for him to continue, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, feeling more sweetness leaking out your pussy, and he doesn't end until you do, covering your face in the pillows so you muffle your moans as he licks every inch of your pussy and your sweet release, his dick was so hard, his impulses took over him, he climbed on top of you, throwing the pillow away so he could kiss your mouth, you feel his hard tip poking your inner thigh, "Fuck..." You sigh into his lips, "Do you wanna... you know?" You said with a giggle.

He bites down on his lip, his eyes sparkling, dark, and dilated by everything you've done together, "Yeah, I want to" He quickly fetches his jeans from the floor, Matt had once given him a condom as a joke before a party, and he carried it around just in case, but the one single condom he had, he couldn't find it anywhere, and he was certain he had put it somewhere in his pockets, "Shit" He slams his hand to his forehead.

"What's the matter?" You crawl to the edge of the bed where he is sitting, and you caress his shoulders, "Are you ok?" He felt like the No.1 idiot in the whole century.

"Don't have a condom" He muttered under his breath, and you quickly fetched your purse, you had an old condom in there, but nothing was safe enough, so you took matters into your own hands, you both wanted this, and it was going to happen.

"Get on top, come on," You tell him as you lay down in the bed, once he has settled on top of you, and his nose is grassing yours, you ask him, "You wanna take a risk with me?"And how could he say no when the girl he had this massive crush on was naked, on a bed, willing to give him what a man always wants, and there was not a single condom, "I didn't come prepared, didn't know this was going to happen, so I guess I fucked up too" You make him feel at ease when you make his stupid mistake that he was beating himself up about, turn it into a much human one, "So either you pull out or I will raise your kid into a killer machine" He breaks into laughter, blushing at your jokes, you didn't know what else to say.

"You know what? I think this was meant to be, love... right here, and now, as if everything had lined up for us, you kno'? I-I will pull out in time, don't worry" He kisses your temple, his fingertips lightly tracing the lines of your lips.

"Or... I've got a better idea" You tease him, "But first you better start fucking me big guy, and then you'll see" Alex pushed himself inside you with such ease it made a shiver crawl up his spine, he couldn't help himself, he moaned hard into your mouth, biting down on your lower lips, he makes a fist with the blankets, as his hips thrust inside your pussy slowly at first, but hearing those little gasps that come out of your mouth made him lose control over himself, gathering a pace that made your legs shake again, his hand slides down your thigh, putting it around his torso, you wrap him in, grabbing his bum and making him chuckle, he pushed himself deeper in, burying his cock inside you as he sees you bite down on your bruised lip, your eyes roll into white shiny pearls, his arms grabs the headboard tightly for support, "Oh my God... harder, please..."

"Like that?" You couldn't believe how terrifically good he was at this, and how he had the audacity if he was doing it right when he knew he was, judging by how hard you were trying not to moan, you were completely wrong about Alex, he wasn't shy, he wasn't reserved, he was cocky bastard, and you loved it, he knew what he was doing to you now, he was more confident about it, going harder just like you asked, driving your head to the edge of the bed, he feels so hot when your walls grip him, "God... you're so fuckin' tight" He hums at the feeling, grabbing your hips and driving them against his, the sounds echoing all over the room, you were sure everyone could hear it by now, you felt so close, you take your hand to your pussy, rubbing it in desperate circles as you bite on your knuckles, he sees everything so closely, how his cock glistens as he thrusts out of you, your pussy red, and your neck arched, your fingers so dirtily masturbating yourself, he was losing it, and he quickly pulled out of you before he could finish inside you, "Fuuuck" His voice shakes.

"Can you handle five more minutes, Al?" You were panting, trying to get your heart to go back to its normal rate, but it was so hard.

"Yeah, I think so..." You kiss him hard, pushing his body to the other edge of the bed, and strapping his arms down with your hands, he sees how your pussy slides down his wet cock slowly, your hair all over your face, you body covered in sweat, and kisses, his eyes focus on your hips, rocking back and forward, your clit rubbing against the short hairs on his cock, you didn't. know what it was, but he looked so hot with his little ingrown hairs, he looked more manly, his eyes couldn't believe what was happening, his brain wasn't working, he was just feeling everything so deeply, it wasn't just the need for the closeness or the warmth, it was what was behind all of that, the love, and the intimacy, you both felt it.

"I think I- fuck..." You choked out as he had taken advantage of the fact your whole body became stiff, this was the moment, he pressed your body against his tightly, feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest as he drove himself inside your hole, "Oh fuckin'... I'm gonna-... don't stop!" You cry out, you stare into his dark brown eyes as your insides squeeze out your release, you wanted to be the one in charge, so quickly push his arms up, pinning them down, fucking yourself into his cock, you were panting, and gasping for air as your pussy became a dripping and soggy mess.

"If I could cum inside you I would, but you feel so fuckin' hot... it-t's, you're-" He chokes in his own words, that same stiffness and need to keep fucking you until he finished took over him, he went faster and harder, losing control over himself.

"Come on, that's so good, Alex... come on big boy, you can cum wherever you want to" He squeezed your ass so hard, his mind clouded with lust and the pictures, and noises the came out of your pretty lips, this feeling overcame him, the sounds of your skin, the words that roll out of your mouth, your hands on his body, the love, just one last thrust of his hips and he quickly pulled out of you, "That's good Al..." You see his tip was leaking some cum already, you quickly get on all fours, and jerk him off fast with your hand, opening your mouth to let him slide to the back of your throat, and you pull back, sticking out your tongue so he could see himself cumming all over it, moaning and whimpering, so cute but so hot at the same time, he covered your whole mouth with his warm and creamy cum, you hum as he settles down back to reality, blushing hard as he sees you had swallowed some of it, but it was too much, the taste wasn't bad but the texture felt too much for you, you slowly walked to the bathroom as best as you could spitting that ball of cum off your mouth.

"I'm sorreh" He said once you laid down on the bed next to him.

"For what?" You ask him, and he shrugs and sighs.

"I dunno, I made a mess didn't I?" Alex beating himself up for that little detail in such a beautiful moment made you hug him closely, this was huge for him, and he wanted you to feel good.

"I liked it..." You confessed into his ear, "It was just that I didn't know what to do with so much, it's not a bad thing baby, don't worry about it" You kissed his cheek lovingly, "I had a great time"

"Me too" He turned to face you, your eyes focused on his completely, "And I hope we have more fun together..." He teased making you blush harder and giggle, "Sorry for breaking your tights... I'll buy you new ones"

"What you need to buy are condoms," You both break into laughter.

Watching the sun peek through his honey-colored eyes, were probably the second most beautiful thing, the first one was his face and big nose, how you love that nose and his cute smile, you were in deep for him, his arms around your waist, warm and cozy, and you didn't realize when you both fell asleep until you heard Alex's phone buzzing through his jeans, both of you woke up together as you heard knocks at your door, he quickly put on his same clothes from yesterday, while you changed into fresh ones. Alex opened the door with his face all red, Matt and Andy on the other side of the door with naughty grins.

"Matt is callin'" You stopped dead in your tracks as Matt and Andy look at you and back at Alex.

"There you guys were! Hello, good morning" They joked towards yours and Alex's red faces, you stood behind him and he glanced at you, "You have 5 minutes to be downstairs, we'll see you there, bye love birds" Alex shut the door, hearing their little laughs all the way down the corridor, and you couldn't hold it in either, you laughed and collapsed to the floor, your laugh so contagious him laughing just as hard.

In less than 5 minutes you were downstairs with Alex, him secretly holding your hand as you both check out, "That was very fast" Andy teased towards Alex.

"Fuck off" He raised his middle finger to him and Matt both, he didn't care about their little giggles and jokes, in this moment, it was sunshine and happiness, he wrapped his arm around your waist as you wait outside for a cap to come and pick you up.

Thankfully you were right in time for the train, Alex made a deal with Matt to take his seat next to yours in the back, and when the moment came, once inside the train he sat next to you, putting your bag away, and hugging you close to him in the seats, you stare into the sky as Alex's stares into the reflection of the window, your hands holding his as the other sits in your lap, legs crossed and your eyes a little tired but still mesmerizing, and in that moment he realized how much he loves you.

"What are you thinking about?" You say as you see him so lost in his thoughts, he smiles at you so brightly.

"Nothin'" He chuckles, you wait for him to speak since he has the words coming out the tip of his tongue, "It's just that... I'll need to check all my dirty jeans to see if I can find the condom Matt gave me"

"Oh... your mum won't be happy" You joke, and he pulls you in closer to him, maybe it was the boredom of the long train ride but, you inched closer to him, a not-so-clever idea popping into your head, "Hey..."

"Meet me in the bathroom?" You teased him, pecking his lips gently, he looked straight into your eyes, a small heat wave coming to his body, you weren't joking, he could see it in your eyes, you chose to wear a skirt on the train ride with some knee socks to keep your warm, you discreetly pull down your panties, and hand them over to him. He's in awe as he sees you leaving to the back of the train, into the bathroom with a cheeky smile on your face.

"Fuck" He sighs.

A/N

What?! Bonus chapter bitcheeesss! sorry for the 4-day vacation you guys, hope you didn't miss me much love you 💋

[s-t-a-c-y-y-y]

Dog of Chaos - Part 1

Chikn stared into the void, processing everything that had happened within the last few hours. His anger from being rejected by his friends led him to transform everyone and everything into abstract, incomprehensible shapes. There wasn't a single ounce of joy left inside of the deity, and the only emotions that remained were guilt, shame, and an endless supply of dread. The whimsical music that once filled his world was now replaced with pure silence. The silence was so deafening to Chikn that it pierced his long ears like needles.

Suddenly, out of the silence, Chikn heard a familiar giggle. It was Bezel, the embodiment of time and the seemingly innocent Clock-faced being that he was naive enough to view as a guardian.

"Ha! Look what you've done, my friend!" Bezel jeered. "Oh boy, you should've seen the look on your face! The drama! The chaos! Oh my, it was beautiful!"

Chikn didn't respond, nor did he even look at Bezel. He continued staring into the void, pretending that Bezel wasn't even there. Still, Bezel approached the dog-like god, not even caring much about his emotions.

"Oh, don't be sad, buddy!" Bezel said to Chikn while stroking his head. "Maybe this will cheer you up!" Out of nowhere, Bezel grabbed out a half-empty bag of popcorn. He had been eating out of it while he watched Chikn unleash his wrath upon the world. "I've got leftovers!" Bezel giggled as he waved a piece of popcorn in front of Chikn's face.

Still, Chikn didn't respond.

Bezel started to get frustrated. "Listen, Chikn. You should be happy that this happened! You should be glad that you finally got to use your godly powers to your biggest potential! You should be PROUD!" Bezel tried to sound as motivational as possible.

"Proud?" Chikn said in an enraged tone. "I should be PROUD?"

"Woah, there, buddy!" Bezel yelped. "There's no need to bark at me like that! How rude!"

Chikn was looking directly at Bezel's face. Bezel had seen Chikn angry before, but this was the first time the anger was directed at him. It was truly terrifying. Still, Bezel tried not to show his fear to the deity. After all, dogs can detect fear. Well, that's what Bezel thought. Despite being the god of time itself, Bezel was about as bright as a digital watch with a broken screen.

"I'm not proud!" Chikn roared. "I ruined my friend's lives without them even knowing it! I destroyed everything and everyone that I've ever loved and ever known! I'm NOT proud! I'm ashamed of myself! I'm a LOSER!" Chikn's anger had led to a ring of fire developing around him and Bezel.

Bezel turned his back to Chikn. "You don't understand, do you?" Bezel whispered to Chikn. "I set this up! Your world was so boring before! It was just the same jokes repeated over and over and over again! You can only laugh at the same jokes so many times! It was HORRIBLE! I HATED IT!"

Chikn couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'You hated seeing me happy?" Chikn asked.

"Not just that, bird-dog!" Bezel hollered. "I realized how un-special everything was. I wished there was a way to fix it, and then it hit me!" Bezel continued rambling on, pacing back and forth in front of the confused and irate Chikn. "I came to your world to get you and everyone else in your world into finally doing something interesting for once, and guess what? IT WORKED! I finally enjoyed it, and so many others behind the fourth dimension did as well! It was a spectacle! The trauma, the drama, the horror, everything about it was great! You became so much better than your boring old self! That's why you should be proud!"

Chikn was trembling with rage. He loved the way life was before Bezel arrived, and apparently, people hated that. How was that a bad thing? He didn't understand. He just couldn't help but let out the loudest, most anguished scream he had ever let out. He roared as his body transformed into an abstract mess of shapes and colors. It was so unbelievable that even Bezel didn't want to look at it.

What happened after? Well, stay tuned...

[haecien]

I found this cool prompt generator for ships! If ya want the link its here ;D

8/13

Angst, hurt comfort, tiniest of fluff (FUCK YOU GENERATOR.) , Non-idol AU, happy ending (i promise )

Warnings: Cursing, attempted kidnapping, mentions of hitting & blood, reader was kinda being a bitch HELP

Link to the masterlist

So maybe I DID go overboard with hao, its hao what you'd expect

Chapter playlist (to set the mood:D )

Word count- Estimated 2k-3k (read more under the cut)

Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho ; Everlasting promises

(LMAO IGNORE THAT IT SAYS "you has" I forgot to change it to y/n)

" Happy Birthday my love! " Minghao said as he gave you a cake that was beautifully decorated, " Haooo! You've really outdone yourself with this cake, It's absolutely amazing! "

He got a bit flustered from the complement " Only the best for My Love. But I did get a little bit of help from the guys... but I did majority of the work! "

You pecked his cheek " Non the less you did a perfect job, what would I do without my amazing boyfriend. " Minghao couldn't help but smile like an idiot, he loves you dearly. You both had a rough first meeting, who would have known you both would be whipped for each other?

" C'mon, go blow out your candles. And make a wish~ " He said as he placed down the cake on the table and stood behind you, you blew out the candles. " I know I'm not suppose to tell you this but, Hao can you make my wish come true? "

" How exactly? " you looked at him deeply in the eyes " Promise me you'll never forget me, and I'll never forget you. No matter where we may go I'll always be with you. " he was struck by your words, " And i'll always be with you. Promise. " he cupped your cheeks as he kissed you.

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Even after all of that, after everything he said, you still felt empty. Sure sometimes he'd say I love you but, he felt very distant after a while.

You were talking to Dino, Jun and Seungkwan. You guys were just catching up, maybe you just slipped a few things of minghao, but it really didn't escalate much. You had this weird feeling like they were uneasy with you when you mentioned him.

" Y/n, we need to tell you something. " Dino spoke up, his tone was serious and very stern. " You know, In highschool. Hao he, he just got with you to prove to us he could actually get a partner... We also betted money that it could last for a year. "

suddenly, it felt like a part of you just left. Is this why he's so distant now a days?

you excused yourself that you had to go saying shit like " Oh I left my iron on " something like that, you rushed back to your house opening the door and collapsing on your bed. You couldn't help but just cry.

It was the best relationship I've ever had. why did you leave so suddenly? It also made you fucking sick how he pretended to care, why was he doing this, this was all an attempt to make him look cool.

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" My love why so sulky? " Minghao said as he hugged you from behind, " Please cut the act Minghao. "

Minghao let go of you and backed up a bit. " What do you mean? " he said he sounded confused.

" I know about the bet you made in highschool, you know the one that happend when we started dating. " you said looking at him dead in the eyes, you were hurt just seeing him now knowing the truth

He stumbled over his words " What? Oh. Love, that was a long time ago ple- "

" I used to like you a lot back then, but now knowing what you did it seems like everything was fake. You've been distant lately, did I ask too much from you? Huh, fuck foolish of me thinking you've actually liked me. " tears started to swell your eyes, this is painful. You took your stuff and stormed out of his house

I had made so many plans for our future, what happend to all of that? That love was something I never felt something like that, I wonder if ill ever find a love like that again.

Whenever I would be down, I'd go back to him. No, don't you fucking dare. I am not okay, I thought we were suppose to be together.

....

This ringing in my head, it hurts. I feel dizzy, I want to close my eyes. But I feel like I'm in danger, who was this?

Who was this taking me away?

I'm too weak to move, everything hurts.

The person is hitting my head with something heavy, my head feels very dizzy, I could feel the blood dripping down from my head.

I'll just rest for a bit.

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Minghaos pov:

I stood there, shit I messed up big time. They felt unhappy, why didn't I listen?

Please, I did love you a lot. I promise, I tried to let go of what I did in the past.

I've changed I swear. I love you too much that my heart aches for you, this "bet" wasn't ment to last long, but you've taken my heart. And now I can't let you go.

My heart aches for you, please come back.

I walked out trying to find you. Shit, why is it raining? Why is it only my face that is getting hit, I can't stop it.

I'm I crying?

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I searched for you, hours had passed by. Where was my love?

" Shit. " I whispered under my breath as I ran towards your body.

" Fuck, no. No, I can not loose you. " I placed your head into my arms, no. Please I can live with you being separated from me but, I can not handle being separated from you for more than an eternity.

I rushed you to the nearest hospital, luckly it was not that far away from us. Please stay with me my love.

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Minghao waited paitently by your side, " please I'm so sorry. I don't care if you decide not to forgive me, ill still love you endlessly. " He repeated these words in his head, he fucked up big time.

" Oh y/n, please be okay, please. " he grabbed your hand and squeezed it, you lost a lot of blood. You hated him but he still loved you.

The doctor entered your room, " Hello, I'm here to tell you Y/n L/n's results. Are you... Xu Minghao? I need to know your relationship with the patient. "

" I'm... - " he hesitated for a bit " I'm there boyfriend. " the doctor nodded and got closer to your bed.

" So, the paitent did loose a lot of blood. But luckly they'll still be fine, but I think you'll be needing to stay here for, around a week. "

" A week? Oh. I should go and get my things prepared... " Minghao stood up " Very well, ill take my leave. " the doctor exited the room.

" Oh what I'm I going to do with you my love. " he pecked your cheek. " I'll be back. "

Minghao was willing to wait for you until you woke up, but. He still didn't know how to properly apologize to you, he knew that he loved you. He knew that

He just didn't know how to express that into words.

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Minghao stayed by your side, just as he promised on your birthday.

Endless hours have turned into days, and those days turned into weeks. Minghao was getting worried, whenever you would ever so slightly twitch your fingers, or moved the slightest bit he'd get excited thinking you were awake.

But, you never did. Minghao would write little journal entries in a small notebook he recently bought, you know just to keep track.

Slowly but surely, minghao was starting to doubt if you'd even wake up. He took out his phone and started to look at his gallery.

All his photos of you and him, those random pictures of you doing the most stupid shit. Fuck, he missed you a lot. Looking back on these memories made him teary eyed.

Suddenly minghao heart a sound from you, a slight grunt. Oh shit, were you waking up?

Its been approximately 3 months since the accident. Minghao couldn't help but run over to you as fast as he can, " Love? Are you there. I know you're upset, but please just let me ex- "

" Who, are you? " you said looking confused. Shit, who was this man? Why was he here.

" ... What? " Minghao's heart sank. So deep, this was just painful, but. Atleast you don't remember how much you hurted because of him, but all your memories together. They were all gone?

" Y/n it's me, come on. Stop playing with me, its me. Minghao! " he stood there for a bit, trying his best to hold back his tears. " I'm, I'm terribly sorry. Doesn't ring a bell. "

Minghao sighed in defeat, how was he going to make you fall in love with him again? He didn't want to loose you again, Minghao called in the doctor in for help

Unfortunately they couldn't do much, the damage that happend to the brain couldn't be fix. But the plus side was you could be discharged in a few days... yay?

" So.. " you looked at minghao " What, were you to me? " Minghao looked at the ground and took a deep sigh, " Well. You were my partner and I was your lovely boyfriend " he said laughing a bit.

" Wow, well aren't you so lovely? " Hearing that again for the first time in awhile made his heart flutter, " Pft, ofcourse I am. You chose me to be your boyfriend anyways... " Minghaos tone was, sad. Who wouldn't be in a situation like this?

" .... How was our relationship? How long were we a thing? " you asked curiously.

" It was the most amazing relationship I've ever had, Haha. You fell for my charm and I fell for your beautiful personality, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. " you reassured him that it was okay, " Please, I'm sure it wasn't your fault anyways! "

You said as you gave a bright smile to him, you'd always smile for him whenever he was upset. Made him even more happier.

He couldn't help but smile at you.

" Here, you can't remember all of this happening but. We took these on the day of your birthday. "

Minghao took out a picture of you too both eating cake, minghao had placed frosting on your face as a joke but you ofcourse had to hit him back.

At the end both of your faces were covered in frosting. Those were good times, " We look funny here. " you said giggling a bit at yourself.

" We do, hehe. Look at you, you're face is covered entirely with frosting. "

" Yours too! " you lightly hitted him while laughing. " Can you show me more pictures? We look like we're having so much fun hehe. "

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minghao was trying his best to help you remember him, he was hesitant with you a bit. Usually he'd call you pet names but he wasn't so sure if you were okay with it.

You'd look at old pictures on your phone, trying your very best to remember everything. You don't even remember how much he hurted you,

You forgotten what type of person minghao was, sure he was attractive but. Was he worth just getting back into a relationship with?

You knew deep down he was still hurting that his love had forgotten everything about him.

You tried your best to be attentive to whenever he'd randomly go on and ramble about how your relationship was.

He looked so excited whenever you asked questions, his eyes practically lit up due to his excitement.

Surprisingly, you remember majority of your childhood but your highschool days were blurry. Sure you remembered your friends, and some of the guys too but. Suprisngly minghao never appeared in your memories.

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You were chilling in your room, minghao wasn't around since he was out with his friends for a little get together. So you were left alone in your house

You felt as if, there was something in your room that was important. But, what was it? You got up and fucking destroyed your room, items were everywhere.

You had to find this "thing" , maybe it could help you with your memory who knows.

After minutes and minutes of searching, you found a box that was hidden at a secret compartment under your bed. It felt heavy, you slightly shook the box, jeez. There was a lot of stuff in the box.

You sat down on your bed with the box on your lap, on the lid it said " Everlasting promises. " , weird name.

You opened the box.

(This video contains glitches)

I was filled with both rage and sorrow. Where was minghao? You wanted to beat him up and apologize for everything.

Hes been so sweet to you for the past few weeks. Was his feelings actually real?.. was I in the wrong.. ?

You began to cry, looking at the pictures that were already wet due to your tears. God, you were such a bitch to him. You didn't even let him explain, yet he still blamed himself after all of this.

Minghao knocked on your door indicating he was there as he opened your door. You quickly tried to whipe your tears away, not wanting him to see you.

" Y/n? - " he looked around to see the box still on your lap with all the items outside spread out. He realized that you've been crying and he quickly went close to you.

He got down on one knee infront of you looking at you, " Y/n, are you alright?.. Oh y/n, you're beautiful face is all puffy. Why are you so upset? Can you tell me. "

Hearing his words made you cry even more, you struggled to form a sentence. " I'm sorry. " you mumbled out " Everything was my fault " you blurted out.

" Wait, you remember?.. "

" Yes! " you said, tears started to form again. Minghao went close to you and took you in his arms for a hug.

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You and minghao started to explain both sides and you both went in a mutual agreement.

It actually took you awhile to start dating again, but eventually. You both started dating again

Happier than ever.

" Hao! Oh my god its our anniversary... where are we going? "

" Secret love, but you'll love it. "

(May or may not have connected it to this post, look i fucking love it HAHA )

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General tag list: @woozvc

Cien rambles

AAAAA THIS TOOK ME 3 DAYS TO WRITE.

[wings-of-flying]

boom! fic from last night be upon you (it's q!charlie & q!mariana because i'm going insane about them) (also why can i never introduce fics normally? who knows):

EDIT: added spaces cause otherwise it's difficult to read on mobile

our love was a bonfire. we made art from the charcoal

What do you do when you've come from nothing and you find someone who tells you that you're worthy of love? You cling to them. Hold them closer than your own flesh and blood. Grip them desperately, like they're a lone piece of driftwood in an endless ocean. You don't stop when you hear their bones crack. You don't stop when the splinters tear at your skin. You don't stop till you're both falling apart at the seams, till passionate red pools at your feet. And by then it's far too late.

Some compare the decline of love to that of a candle. At first it brings warmth and light and hope. There’s comfort in it. Joy. But all things end. The wax slowly melts; the love slowly fades, till the flame eventually fizzles out. It’s sad, tragic, even, but peaceful.

Charlie envied those people. Envied the long and happy years of which they could boast before the light went out.

Perhaps a more accurate metaphor would describe his and Mariana’s relationship as a bonfire. You began with broken things, abandoned dreams, stuff destined to rot, and you set them alight. Oh, how they burned. All those around them were caught in the blaze and heat and smoke. There was no escaping it. But it brought joy and passion to life, more hope and excitement than both sides had ever known. It wasn’t surprising that they believed it was love. They’d never seen the true thing, and surely this was close enough.

The thing about bonfires is that they were never meant to last. Candles can be blown out and relit; their power can be conserved. But bonfires die the moment there’s nothing left to burn. And then what happens? You realise you were so caught up in the flames that there’s nothing to remember fondly. You look back at what remains and it’s just the same broken things, only their decay has been sped up. Nothing has been gained. You have only lost.

And suddenly you don’t recognise each other. The change happened so fast that you didn’t notice till it had been five years and since when did she wear so much yellow!

When the fire goes out, when the passion is gone, there is nothing left but ash and charcoal. And there’s no love in that.

For Charlie, work was a good enough distraction. He could ignore the elephant in the room if he was too preoccupied to think about it. For Mariana… Well, Charlie knew he still got the passion he wanted. It was clear in the way she looked at other men. Clear in the flicker of flame in his eyes that had once been reserved for someone else. Another elephant to ignore. Another mask to wear. Which meant more work, which meant more time away, which meant more men, which began the cycle once more. It was almost amusing how easily the marriage fell apart.

There were some good nights. When business was going well and Mariana was home, for once. In those few hours, they could almost pretend everything was fine. That they didn’t solely communicate through either uninterested smalltalk or screaming matches. But the sun would always rise, and it was only pretend, after all.

The baby was not intentional.

It came at either the best or worst time, Charlie could never decide which. They were on civil terms, but only because they’d been discussing divorce. Charlie had been the one to suggest it, once the elephant became impossible to ignore. He wasn’t sure how to feel when Mariana immediately agreed. Relief, perhaps, that it would work out the way he’d wanted? Or disappointment that it had happened so easily, regret that neither were willing to put up a fight?

Charlie was almost ashamed of the joy he felt when he found out about the baby, when he told Mariana and they both decided to try to give their child the best chance at life. So the divorce was called off before it had even begun. They would try to make things work, move and go into hiding so Charlie could leave the business, so Mariana could leave the affairs in the past. They’d be a real family, no matter what it took.

Because what do you do when you’re handed a second chance? You cradle it. Hold it to your heart, oh so gently. Love it with everything you’ve got, tentatively, softly. You take that chance and do all you can for it. You try and try and try until you make it real. Because you have to.

The fire may have taken all you had, but you can still make art with the charcoal.

[alittlefirebirdtoldme]

The Spring Festival still raged on the lawn of Brightstar Manor. Little game stalls cropped up for the kiddies and the adults busied themselves with other pursuits. Some danced. Some sang. Some, like Percy, wove flower crowns. He'd made one for Daphne, of course, and there was a heaping stack of 'em that admirers and friends and the like had made him. He wore one that had been carved by Andrew, which made him look somewhat like a stag with its woody protrusions and chains of little flowers dangling off what could have been the points of antlers on a buck. Percy had spent a rather long time on the flower crown he was making now and he heard the gossip. Clearly, their leader had his eye on someone.

He did and he didn't. It was... complicated.

When he got a chance to slip away, he snuck back into the house with the flower crown in tow. He had picked on the best blossoms. Large, bright petals adorned a braided vine headdress. Smaller buds filled in the spaces between. When he found Keres, he was suddenly very self-conscious of the gift he carried for her. Was it enough? You only ever made flower crowns at the spring festival for people you loved. He did love her. It was complicated. Everything was complicated. But this? This was... correct. His fingers cramped a little from the delicate work, but he smiled at Keres nevertheless.

"I know you probably want nothin' to do with the festivities outside," he said. "But I made you this flower crown because..."

His throat constricted.

"Someone told me it's a human holiday today. Mother's Day. Have you... heard of it? I dunno, it sounds nice. And, anyways, you're the only mum Daphne's ever known and at the Spring Equinox, we celebrate mothers, too, and you're a special part of our family. 'M grateful for you. More'n I know how to say. I don't know what the proper greetin' for Mother's Day is, but... May the Seladrine bless and keep you for all that you've done for our family."

He extended the crown to her.

"I'd put it on ya, but you don't have to wear it if it's... too much."

I know I'm too much, Keres, but I had to let you know I love you somehow.

(Shhhhhh pretend this is on time)

Keres had already been out to the festival.

She wouldn't admit it to Percy, and it had all been a bit... overwhelming... but there were parts of it she had enjoyed. The world was beautiful. Everyone was so happy. The community of it all. She'd snuck around at Daphne's request to join her for a few rounds of some game, but she couldn't help feeling like an outsider, and couldn't stop noticing the sounds from nearby caravans or the woods and gardens of the estate that made her blush. It was easier to go back inside and listen to it all from her window, suppressing deep disappointment with lesson planning and retirement sums that she kept quietly to herself. Once, Keres would have been awkward, but she'd have gone. Tried and failed and laughed at herself quietly while dancing with ribbons or listening to old tales. But that Keres was one that no one remembered now, not even her mistress.

"Oh, yes, Mother's Day." Keres nodded, not sure where he was going with the question. Keres had celebrated mother's day growing up, like most children, but it had always seemed a bit performative. How did one celebrate the relationship between oneself and a woman who took them in as a charity? The answer had been correctly, stiffly, politely- things that seemed to shock no one about the Keres they knew, but that she'd never quite gotten used to. to realize, suddenly, that she was being considered a mother figure... it felt more than a little odd. Of course, things were very different between her and Daphne- she loved the girl like she'd been the one to hang the stars in the sky- but to think on it...

She'd never let Percy know how handsome he looked in that headdress. She understood the old stories when he stood like that in the sunlight, of women chasing wild men into the forest never to be seen again. There were always whispers of what happened after- of bathing naked in moonpools, being ravaged by men (beasts? gods?) in the soft spring fields, of singing in the hollows of glades, and that general magical existence of the enchanted. She'd always fancied herself smarter than that, but she understood when she looked at him, flushing at the thought of following him into an endless wild garden to live forever as some half-blessed, half-cursed feyling of the wilds.

She tried to pass the blush off as a surprise for his kindness, reaching out delicately to hold the flower crown that he offered. For a moment, she wanted to feel magical. Feel like he thought she could be magical. Hesitating, she set the crown on top of her hair, feeling immediately silly and boring and human in a way that made her ashamed of how small she was. Of all the broken things hiding under the surface she so carefully maintained.

"I'm honored to be included. And honored to be a stand-in for Daphne's mother, however a poor substitute." She flushed deeper, and then removed the crown again, holding it close to her body. "I don't think the festivities are for me. However, I will keep this. It's quite beautiful."

She set it to dry on a hook in her bedroom, set high above her bed like it belonged there. The colors faded with time to more muted hues, delicate as tissue paper and perfectly suited to their surroundings.

Sometimes Percy might have seen it there in its place of honor among her small collection of personal items if he walked past the room at the right moment.

She only didn't know if she hoped or feared the day he would notice.

[neiptune]

excerpt

pairing: levi x female reader

wc: 3.3k

warnings: minimal sexual content, angst

author's note: this is part of something i've written a long time ago, i'd be very happy if you guys could let me know if you'd be interested in the other two parts to basically understand what happened before and after this

Levi had said it was over, even if what happened between you two didn't hold enough meaning for him to consider it something worth properly finishing. Or so you thought anyway

You were already in bed when the girls of your dormitory came back from dinner, bringing cheerful conversations and amused laughter with them. There was a brief silence when they noticed your shape buried under the sheets but no one made any comments as they began to prepare for the night, continuing their chatter in a pleasantly relaxed atmosphere.

Someone, perhaps Petra, gently placed a hand on your shoulder, letting it linger there for a few seconds. Shortly thereafter, the room was plunged into darkness and you no longer needed to pretend you were asleep.

You lay on your back, eyes scanning the ceiling, impatient to finally hear the breaths of your companions to grow heavier. You really needed to escape to the kitchen, sit alone with a cup of tea and hopefully calm down.

You knew you were being unfair to Klaus, you had known him long enough to be sure that he hadn't had any bad intentions. You didn't care about someone thinking you weren't strong enough to stay on the team, it wasn't them you had to prove that you were a good enough match anyway. However, you still wanted to be given the opportunity to do, prove it. You wanted them to see you stay alive long enough to change their mind. You didn't regret what you had done, yet it burned, how easily those around you had downgraded you.

You would've talked to Klaus, told him that you knew how kind his intent was, but you would've firmly emphasized that you expected him not to do anything like that ever again. You needed to be able to trust the only true friend you had.

When the only audible noises in the room became soft breaths and the slight rustling of sheets, you pushed the covers aside and tiptoed off the bed, careful as always not to make any noise. When you closed the door behind you, as quietly as possible, you prayed that Klaus didn't feel like entertaining himself in the kitchens again, perhaps to distract himself from the discussion you had had at dinner.

Fortunately, everything seemed dark and quiet enough for you to let out a sigh of relief. However, when you entered the kitchens, that same breath you've been holding was suddenly caught in your throat.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn't think there was someone in here”, you murmured, taken aback, uncomfortably rocking on your heels.

Your captain, sitting at the only available table, gave you imperturbable look. That was exactly how it had begun, you remembered with an unpleasant twitch of you stomach.

“I'll go back to bed”, you finally said, embarrassed by the prolonged silence.

You turned your back to him and were already with one foot out of the door when Levi opened his mouth again.

“There's enough for two”, he said, referring to the steaming cup and teapot placed in front of him.

You hesitated only for a moment. Overcome by the cold and the need for company, you accepted the invitation with a nod of you head that you hoped would express gratitude.

After fetching a clean cup you sat down at the table, staring down as he poured the black tea blend he had brewed. It had a comforting smell, sweet but spicy.

“Can't sleep?”, you asked him. You just couldn't bear the idea of ​​staying silent and didn't dare concentrate on the fact that you two hadn't been alone since that last time. Excluding the rescue mission you had forced him into in the forest, of course.

You took a sip, hoping to warm up.

“I have some work to finish, I'm taking a break”, he replied, his voice betraying no emotion.

“Well, I can help out if you want. I have no plans to sleep anyway”.

“For what reason?”

“I have nothing to do tomorrow”.

“You have training”.

“I only have training”.

Levi stared at you in silence for a few seconds. Against all odds, he had grown used to you. In a completely involuntary way, he was able to understand with alarming clarity when you were angry, annoyed, sad or upset. At that moment, it seemed to be all four together.

“You want to go out”, he observed calmly.

You looked up, meeting his gaze, squeezing the cup a little tighter, burning your fingers.

“How long are you going to punish me for?”, you muttered.

He frowned.

“Pardon?”

“My punishment, how long does it have to last? You know, for having been stupid. A bad soldier, unworthy of the Levi team. A problematic element. When will I be acquitted?”

For a second, the man's attention was captured by your reddened fingertips as he placed his cup of tea on the table.

“Nobody is punishing you, y/n”.

“So why am I not allowed to participate? Why is it that the more time passes, the more I feel like I've been kicked out? They all think it's better this way, my comrades. And I know you've talked to Klaus, that you think the same thing too. But I don't think it's fair, I have sacrificed a lot for the survey corps and I consider myself a good soldier and I would really like not to be pushed aside so easily because…”

“Don't raise your voice”.

You were silent in an instant, withdrawing by reflex. It was easy to forget that the person sitting in front of you was your captain, after all that time when you looked at him you still saw the person you had stupidly fallen in love with. Embarrassed, you mentally ordered yourself to get it together.

Levi stood up, the cup filled again in his right hand. You didn't look up from the table, so he let out something similar to an impatient sigh.

“Come on”, he said, making it sound more like an order than a request.

Five minutes later, you were in his office. He had given you his cup because you had followed him without taking yours. Both of you were standing, you leaning against the desk where the candles left lit, lit up a frightening amount of ink-stained papers and documents. You were surprised by such a chaos but you decided not to make any comments.

“Is that why you argued at dinner?”, he asked.

Uncomfortable, you casually stroked the edge of the cup with your index finger. It must have been more of a show than you had thought.

“It's possible”, you muttered.

“And did someone tell you what I think, too?”

“Klaus told me he talked to you and Sophia seemed pretty sure about...”

“Your friend came to tell me that he is worried about you. I replied that, when he is captain, he'll be able to decide how to manage the soldiers he cares about but, for now, I don't need second opinions”.

You raised your head, surprised.

“After the trauma you have suffered to your head, your reflexes have grown slower, which is the reason why you spend the training sessions more with your ass in the dust than on your feet. The only reason you're not participating in missions is that I need to be sure that you're at your best. Because Klaus is right, you are among the best resources of the team, and if you don't realize that maybe you really are as stupid as they say”.

You had to put the cup on the desk because your hands had started to shake. You didn't know whether to feel embarrassed for allowing yourself to be manipulated so easily by your own negative thoughts, or whether to blush at receiving what was probably the greatest compliment he could have given you.

“You called me stupid as well”, was the only thing you managed to say, clearing your throat.

“I can do it, I'm your superior”.

You gave him an exasperated look and received the hint of a smile in response, so imperceptible that someone could have mistaken it for an involuntary twitch of the lips.

You knew you had to go back to bed, and quite quickly as well, given the reaction that your stomach had to that gaze, covered in a layer of ice that was thinner than usual. But you could not find the strength to leave that office. Perhaps it was the last real chance you would have to be alone with him and you wanted to extend the moment for as long as possible.

“Well, thank you”, you muttered, voice thick with sincere gratitude.

He tilted his head slightly.

“For calling you stupid?"

“For not having thought that I'm a bad soldier. And for choosing not to kick me out. I would not want to be part of any other team, captain”.

“Stop calling me that”.

You gave him a sad smile.

“I'm your subordinate, that's what I have to call you”, you replied.

Levi closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them he suddenly looked much more tired than he had ever seemed. You felt the urge to brush the hair away from his forehead and caress his cheek, ask him if he was okay. Ask him about what worried him.

“Y/n”, the way he pronounced your name, with a stern note but also as if he didn't know what else to say, gave you the right push to break away from that desk.

“I'm going back to sleep. Thanks for the tea, yours is always the best”, you tried to smile at him, to sound kind.

What a fool you had been to think that you had gotten through it so easily. It took just a few minutes alone with him to feel disgustingly vulnerable, embarrassed by the influence he continued to have over your emotions.

Keeping a distance had made things easier, deceptively perhaps, but what did it matter? You would've made sure you would never get close again if it meant lingering in a state of serene indifference for a little longer. You owed it to yourself, to both your dignity and your heart.

You weren't surprised by the speed with which he moved, you were prepared for the idea that he wanted to give you another lecture. So when he grabbed you by the arm, preventing you from leaving the room, you didn't turn around right away. You felt unstable, as if the floor had begun to sway.

“I can't give you what you want”, he spoke in that familiar hard tone of his, the one that did not allow for replies. The one that did not expect any reply.

“You don't know what I want”, you replied calmly.

“Fine. I can't give you what you should want”.

You turned around, pulling your arm away with a brusque movement.

“What do you think I want, exactly? Marriage? You walking around with me, holding my hand?”

The man's features relaxed but his gaze remained detached.

“You should want it. Someone you can plan a future with, someone who can get to know your friends. What the fuck did you think you could evolve with me? What exactly did you think I could give you? You're not a fool but I swear sometimes you act like you don't want to look like anything else. It drives me crazy”.

You didn't realize that your breathing had become irregular. Still, you felt the accelerated beating of your heart ringing in your ears, chest, stomach. You took a step back, trying to control yourself.

“You're a hypocrite”, you let out slowly.

“Among other things”, was his cold reply.

“No. I don't allow you to be one. You're an example, being on your team is probably the only thing that gives value to our lives. And you risk your life every day, you fight for something you don't even believe in. You don't care about mankind, you don't care what happens. You are fighting for a future you don't give the slightest value to. How dare you not give it value?”

Levi was silent, still staring at you. You desperately wanted to sit down, forehead covered with a thin layer of sweat, hands still shaking.

“You think you can't give anything. You don't want to give anything, you don't want to receive anything. You are holed up in your precious solitude, in your unhappiness. Well, stay like that forever if you want. But I won't let you ridicule me for trying. For thinking I was enough for you to walk away from that bleak existence you enjoy so much. Why are we even talking about it? You told me to leave and I did. Why do you even have to make me feel this way?”

You failed to realize you had started crying. You just stood there, looking at him, barely registering a painful throbbing at the center of your chest. He took a step forward, for a moment it seemed that he wanted to reach out to your face, but you knew you were wrong.

“I have nothing to give. You should know that better than anyone else”.

He spoke calmly but something had changed in his voice. It seemed less cold, it was lower. You would have loved to shove him away, or to slap him. You were feeling so overwhelmed that you couldn't tell if you were feeling more angry or hurt.

“If you hadn't had anything to give, I wouldn't have loved you. You can laugh at it if you want. But I loved you”.

Levi did his best to hide it but you saw him react with a flinch to those words. He must have been equally surprised and disgusted. You took a deep breath.

“Look, forget it. May it be as you want, okay? Don't imagine a future. Don't give yourself anything, reject the idea that someone cares about you and, please, keep pretending that you are unable to feel affection for other human beings”.

Finally you realized that your cheeks were wet, so you abruptly, angrily rubbed them.

“What I wanted was just for you to give yourself a chance. Not to me, or anyone else. To you. Cause you're not just a war machine, you're the person I admire the most, even with that unbearable stand-offish attitude, you...”, he took both the chance of adding anything else and of breathing away from you when he suddenly pulled you close enough to kiss you in a way that was so familiar it hurt. You had to appeal to the strength of every single cell in your body to push him away with what was meant to be a shove.

“Stop. I'm not a toy”, you muttered, shocked and overwhelmed by the urge to cry again. He, who had allowed you to push him away only slightly, kept his hold on your arms still, slightly bending towards you.

“I can't do anything you say”, he said slowly, as if he was carefully weighing each word. “I don't know how to give, I don't know how to take, I don't know how to have hope, I don't know what it means to love someone. To be loved. I'm not pretending, I don't know how to do it”.

There was an impatient inflection in his tone, but you also managed to catch the painful vibration. He was offering much more than he had ever offered, he was showing his raw vulnerability.

Not only don't know how to do it, you also think you don't deserve it.

“Your first project for the future could be to learn”, you suggested softly, seeking his gaze.

“Tell me how to do it”.

“Marry me”.

Levi looked up so abruptly that you couldn't help but burst into a nervous, slightly hysterical laugh.

“Sorry, couldn't resist”, you smiled at his exasperated expression.

Then you took a breath because your throat hurt, you felt as if you had just swallowed a lump of ash that prevented you from swallowing anything else. You could almost taste it.

“This is how you do it. By sharing what you feel, by trusting others. You're already doing it”, you added, hoping to encourage him. He narrowed his eyes.

“Since we're in the mood for sharing, I think I was wrong. We should have never started this and I shouldn't have let it continue. It was stupid, selfish and irresponsible”.

You tried to ignore the burning in your chest that those words had caused. As you tried to take a step back he, once again, stopped you and tightened his grip on your arms.

“It's still irresponsible. But I miss you and I seem to be unable to do anything about it”. He had said it angrily, almost contemptuously, but you recognized the same frustration that tormented you every time you saw him. You knew he wasn't in love with you, yet you couldn't help but let the little flame of a small, insignificant hope ignite inside your heart.

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. Holding his gaze for a few seconds, looking for anything that might make you think he was lying in the name of a natural, physical need. But you didn't need to, lying just wasn't in Levi's nature.

“What you can do is find another cadet willing to sleep with you. I'm sure you don't know it but you're quite popular”, you said anyway. He frowned.

“Y/n”.

“Are you saying that you miss me even if you think it's stupid and selfish and irresponsible?”

The grip on your arms loosened. More than I can control, he wanted to reply, but he was able to stop himself. He didn't need to let someone else know that he couldn't handle something so ridiculous. So useless. There was no moment in which that feeling didn't fill him with blind irritation, annoying to the point of making him nauseous.

“What if I said that I don't want anything to do with it anymore?”

“I'd be relieved that you have recovered some common sense and I'd leave you free to be the only thing you should be. An excellent soldier and a young woman with her whole life ahead”.

You rolled your eyes, enjoying for a moment the sudden sensation of a warmth you hadn't felt for months and that had hit you all at once, making it difficult to breathe. It was as if someone, without warning, had physically lifted a boulder from your chest, from your back, your legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck, lightly brushing the hair at the base of his neck.

“You know, I think that's why you're so popular. You look like a young man and have the wisdom of an eighty year old. Definitely an attractive and not at all irritating combination”.

You saw him close his eyes and could not understand if the breath he exhaled and that tickled your face was due to relief, irritation, or something else. You wasted no time wondering, not with his hands finally leaving your arms to squeeze your hips, not with his lips finally seeking yours with the same urgency as before, an urgency that the months spent separated had made more abrupt. You leaned against him and let your hands slide from his hair to his neck, to his shoulders, pressing your body against his with such force that he let out a frustrated, dissatisfied sound. You hated the need to breathe that forced you to pull away for a moment, a precious second that gave him the opportunity to focus on a particularly sensitive point of your neck, just at the base of your left ear. Shivering, you couldn't stop yourself from exhaling his name for the first time in a long, long time, and you felt him smirk as he kissed you again, guiding you with decision and little to no delicacy against the wall next to his bedroom door.

“Come here”, he whispered, and you had to spend minimal effort to let him lift you. As you encircled his waist with your legs, you pulled back just enough to smile at him and brush some hair away from his face. He didn't return the smile but pulled you closer while, without any effort at all, he held you with one arm only to open the door to his room.

>> part 2?

[nxrthmizu]

happy birthday — tsukishima kei

pairing | tsukishima kei x reader

genre | fluff

w.c | 1.6k

↪ part two of this

second chance // an opportunity to try something again after failing one time

tsukishima kei wasn't expecting anyone. sure, it was his birthday, but he did have work the next day, and wasn't very keen on drinking himself senseless into the witching hour.

since yamaguchi, his mother, and akiteru had taken it upon themselves to inform half of japan of his birthdate, kei had just spent the past four hours repeating 'thank you' to people ranging from his junior high schoolmates and strangers he had never met. he was certain that 99% of the players involved with the japan volleyball league had shown up, much to the amazement of his museum colleagues.

the bell rings for the third time, and kei is suddenly hyperaware of how annoying the sound is. he had just sat down, for goodness's sake— was it too much to ask for one minute of rest?

with his socializing energy at an all-time-low, kei nearly tears the door off his hinges, greeting his unwelcome visitor with a fierce snarl. "what do you want—" the words clamp down on his throat, breaking his airflow for a whole five seconds as he stares, utterly floored. "... y/n?"

"...hey?" you look sheepish, holding a small, one-cake-slice-sized box in your hand. he's known you long enough to know that you did your makeup on the fly— the tremble of your eyeliner is a sure giveaway. "... uh... is this a bad time? cause i can come back later—"

"no!" he blurts, hands slamming onto the door frame. he hadn't caught a glimpse of you in six months, ever since that fateful night when you walked out through the same door you were now standing in front of. there wasn't a single night in those six, grueling months that he didn't think about you, or the warm feeling of having you contained within his arms. sure, there were nights when you two fought, heading to bed with your backs faced to each other— but when morning came, you would somehow be in his arms, and somehow kei just knew that things would blow over.

except maybe they didn't.

left with too much time to think, he analyzed every little argument the two of you ever had, critically examining every word he uttered. perhaps the break was needed— the two of you needed to take a step backwards, re-assessing what you two wanted for each other, what you two wanted together. what you said that night hadn't be wrong— there were just too many issues being swept under the rug, too many things you weren't communicating about, too many problems he elected to ignore, in hopes that they would just 'blow over'.

"i mean," he clears his throat, lifting his hand off the doorframe, groaning at the paint scratch he caused. "would... would you like to come in?"

mentally, he smacks his forehead. you don't need permission to enter! in his mind, kei still considers the apartment your home, too. even if you haven't stepped foot within its grounds for half a year.

"if that's okay?" you smile softly, holding up your cake box. "you've probably had some already, but i bought your favorite. if you're full, you could have it tomorrow morning, before work?"

"no, no, i'm not that full." kei instantly assures, even though he's already brushed his teeth. on normal circumstances, he would leave it for the next morning, but what was brushing his teeth one more time if he got to talk to you for the first time in over a hundred-eighty days?

you narrow your eyes at him playfully. "don't lie to me, tsukishima kei. i can smell your toothpaste. i'll leave it in the fridge."

a fond smirk dances over his lips as you brush past him into your apartment, leaving your shoes where you always do on the shoe rack. the sound of your sock-clad feet padding past the living room brings a truckload of tension that kei didn't know he had off his shoulders, and all of a sudden, the house feels a thousand times cozier, even if nothing materialistic has changed.

he watches you from the sofa as you bustle around the kitchen, and he knows by the number of beeps on the electric stove that you're boiling water for tea— green, probably. the ration of tea packets are restocked regularly, because when you moved in, you brought your tea addiction with you, too. kei's been lured into drinking it on a daily basis, right after dinner, as a way of calming himself down after a day of work and practice. typically, tea would be accompanied with you, snuggled up against his side as he complained about the kids he met at work that day (you both knew that he had a secret fondness for them, but shhh).

"i hope you don't mind. i made tea." you say, bringing the glass teapot you were adamant on buying a year ago. it was one of the best purchases kei ever made in the apartment, because he was reminded of the worth every single time the two of you did your regular tea routine.

"of course i don't mind." he replies instantly, picking up his mug (the green one with tiny dinos on the edge). "this is still your home, too. you don't have to ask to do anything."

he pretends not to see the flash of surprise across your features.

"right." you murmur, pressing your mug onto your lips, blowing gently on the surface.

the two of you sit in silence for a while, sipping on your tea as the clock ticks onto eleven o' clock. suppressing the urge to ask you to stay, kei taps the surface of his porcelain cup rhythmically, forgetting that you know all his tells, front to back.

"is there something on your mind?" you ask gently, setting your mug down. he grimaces.

"ah... it's nothing." kei brushes off, not wanting to come onto you too quickly. for all he knew, you were just here to deliver the cake, not to reignite whatever was left of the relation he let simmer for too long...

"... right." the tone of your voice spells i-know-you're-lying-to-me,-but-i'll-let-it-go-for-now.

the silence continues, like a set prolonged. it's starting to get on kei's nerves when you (thankfully) speak again.

"happy birthday."

"thank you." even though he's said those words a thousand times that night, it sounds a comparatively much less robotic than it had for the previous thousand times. perhaps it was thousand-first time's the charm. "i mean it. thank you for coming over."

you wave it off. "i couldn't have not come. tadashi sent me an invite, but my boss needed me to work late and i didn't manage to make it."

ah, so that was why his best friend routinely glanced at the entrance nervously throughout the night. that explained a lot.

"i don't mind." kei takes a sip of his green tea, enjoying the warmth that courses through his chest. it isn't warmer than the warmth you give him, though. "i like it like this. ... just the two of us, i mean."

you contemplate him for a moment. "i like it like this, too." you confess quietly, as if whispering a childhood secret to him behind the karasuno gym.

he couldn't bear it any longer. he's always been patient, yes, but he's seen the looks his mother and brother threw him through the night, because they both knew that the one person that really mattered wasn't there. he was pretty sure his mother was just about to introduce him to some random girl before he excused himself for the night.

"will you stay?" he blurts, feeling very un-tsukishima-kei-like. it isn't like him at all, to be brash, and bold, but how can he? for the past four hours, he's talked to countless people— heck, half of them were volleyball celebrities— but not the one he wanted to talk to.

"do you want me to?" you ask softly, shyly, and kei knows that you're thinking if he wants you back— which is stupid, honestly. he knows that you're always thinking that you're lucky to have him, when it should be the other way around. kei doesn't think there's anyone else willing to put up with his dry humor, his hectic schedule, and his dinosaur memorabilia. if anything, he should be the one thanking the gods for letting him have you.

"don't be stupid." he snaps, cringing internally at how his tone came off. "of course i want you to stay, you're the best thing that happened to me. i won't force you, but—"

"i left some clothes here, right?" you cut him off with a hum, and when kei looks into your eyes, he just knows.

there's still a long, long, long way for the two of you to go. there's still plenty of things he needs to learn. there's a pile of issues in the store room that needed to be tended to.

for every million arguments there are a billion conversations where you two need to sit down and work out the knots. for every insecurity, for every misunderstanding, for every conflict, there is a needed effort to clean up the mess properly instead of just sweeping it under the floorboards. but for every tangle there lies between the two of you, there is a universe of room to grow, and change.

kei knows he's willing to make an effort, for you. kei knows that he's willing to do anything to make sure you don't walk out that door without looking back again. kei knows he's willing to do every single thing he can do (and can't) to make it work.

he knows.

he looks into your eyes, and he smiles.

everything is going to be alright.

haikyuu!! taglist: @ryuiki @hikari-writes @whootwhoot @folkloeren @definitely-yours @rirk-ke @cemeiia @animegirlweeb @mitzwinchester @fandomsgotmefucked

[lethargicsunlight]

Dabi XSpookyQuirk!Reader 'Happy Birthday' (Part 1)

You can find the other parts of this series on my Directory: Link

God I just want his jacket...

AnYwAyS, I wrote this inspired by the upcoming sp00ky season, and I just.. really wanted some mha villain on my Tumblr, ya know?

Summery: You have a spooky quirk, and All for One takes a liking to it after meeting you under special circumstances. You've been 'working' with the League for a few weeks, and the members of the Vanguard always see you at the base with Shigaraki and Kurogiri. They begin to grow suspicious, until one night, Kurogiri approaches Dabi and instructs him to go with you on a personal errand to make sure you don't bail.

WARNINGS: FLUFF. SFW. GHOSTS/SPIRITS. SPOOKY. SLOWBURN. A little bit of sad/angst, but then some more fluff. (I mean it's Dabi, so it's not.. it's not f-l-u-f-f, but you get what I'm sayin' right?) This is meant to have a romantic tone, but its a slow one.

(There is a slight physical pre-requisite for this one, and it is hair. This character has hair. I promise this will make sense.)

If you guys like it, I might write more on this idea later :)

━━━━━━━━━𝕯𝖆𝖇𝖎 ━━━━━━━━━

You had a folded up end-table under your arm and a blue paper box in your other hand.

It was almost midnight and the air had the most pleasant August breeze.

For just a little while, you let the calm sounds of nature sweep you away. You allow yourself to forget the mess that had become your waking world, and pretend everything was just fine. You're running a little errand for a friend. That was it.

But the grind of shoes against gravel reminds you that you aren't doing this alone.

Dabi was walking with you; just a few steps behind.

A peculiar choice on Kurogiri's part. Ever since Shigaraki had introduced you to his 'master', the wispy warp-gate guy had been your.. Well you weren't sure what he was. A chaperone? Shigaraki was obviously his boss or something, since Kurogiri did as was ordered of him. But when it came to you, he called the shots--though it was always chased by 'it's what he wants'.

Honestly the unorganized hierarchy was just confusing. Hell, everything was confusing.

You had been working late at the funeral home, sweeping up incense ash and flower petals; when your world was flipped upside down. Admittedly, you needed it. Remaining where you were was draining you. It was stagnant and sick, and you spent more time with the dead than the living.

You unconsciously snort. What a weird way to interpret the situation. Like you had been saved by a group of villains.

As if.

"What's so funny?"

Dabi's voice reaches around and pulls your track of thought to a stop. You had almost forgotten he was there while your mind had gone on such a tangent.

"Nothing, sorry." You respond, the laughter slipping from your expression. "Just a memory."

He doesn't comment after that.

Really, Dabi wanted to follow your line of thinking. Why him? He'd much rather be sleeping or drinking the cheap whiskey at the bar than walking through a damn cemetery.

But, in comparison to Twice, Toga, Spinner, or even Mr. Compress himself.. he was the most focused and quiet. Usually he wouldn't so easily accept a chore like this; but he would be lying if he wasn't curious. Everyone else's uses were known to him, but you were every bit of a mystery. Kurogiri practically treated you like a guest.

When Spinner was the first to question your integrity and loyalty, it had caused a wave of suspicion. Suddenly you were around with no explanation aside from, "She will be a useful ally to reform society" and "her quirk is valuable".

But.. your presence grew on them.

Since coming to the bar, you never left. You always had a sketchbook with you, and charcoal smudged on your hands and your face. You would suddenly start sketching feverishly while Shigaraki and Kurogiri gave details about their next mission. They would try to lean over and get a peek at your drawings--but Kurogiri was always fast to protect your privacy.

Once, Toga had managed to glance at a page. During an outing, she had pulled Dabi aside to tell him.

"I saw what she was drawing!" She whispers to him, heavy sleeves bouncing next to her mouth.

"Oh?" Dabi fakes a disinterested tone, knowing she was going to tell him regardless.

"Yeah! It was beautiful!" She squees, laughing through her fangs and swinging around a lamp post. "I thought she was really boring at first, but I think we might become best friends!"

Dabi was beginning to lose patience. "What was so beautiful about it?"

"They were people covered in blood!" She exclaims, no longer whispering. Dabi winces at her volume then sighs. Of course, when Toga says 'beautiful', its in relation to something morbid.

Suddenly, when everyone had thought you were some resemblance of normal, they were proven wrong. It reassured the feelings of suspicion to an extent, to think you were as broken and twisted as the rest of them. It made your quiet, almost kind, demeanor more tolerable.

It just couldn't change the fact that they didn't appreciate the lack of transparency with their leaders.

But Dabi was going to figure you out tonight. He would make sure of it.

"So," He starts, having caught up to be in stride with you. "What's the box for?"

Wow, stop the presses. He was talking to you like a human being. Usually there was venom in his tone, or at least a large helping of distaste. It wasn't something he just used on you either, he used it on everyone. Talking to Dabi was essentially talking to a brick wall. Except, brick walls don't spontaneously combust or intentionally murder people.

You clear your throat as a cover, allowing a few more seconds to figure out how you were going to answer.

Obviously, you had to tell him. Otherwise this would be even more awkward. Maybe that's why Kurogiri had chosen Dabi to be your little entourage this evening--aside from just scaring you into not escaping.

Not that you planned on escaping, as crazy as that sounded.

"It's a cake."

Dabi processes that information. What would you be doing with a cake in a cemetery? Sure, bringing offerings to the dead was a normal thing to do, but not a whole cake. Water, incense, flowers--he knew you had worked at a funeral home, so you were educated on this kind of thing. What he had originally guessed was a ritualistic grave-site visit for a lost loved one was quickly being turned on its head.

Though, that made this a little less annoying?

The thought of you being all gushy or tearful over a family member or something had really been making him uncomfortable. It was certainly a feeling he couldn't share, even if he wanted to. He'd already thought about how he would react, knowing which insults he would spit and how he would threaten you, berate you, for being such a weak ass. He was going to burn up whatever you had left there and tell you to get over it.

If he was going to have to deal with you longterm, he wasn't going to tolerate that kind of bullshit.

But you looked far from tearful.

"A... cake." He clicks his tongue, "Okay, so what is the cake for?"

He sounds a little impatient, and all things considered, you really didn't want to test him. You were just hoping the stave off the truth. You couldn't even guess at what his reaction would be when he found out.

ooh, but then, there was a small voice inside that was eager. All for One was the first person in your life to accept and recognize your ability as something other than demented and terrifying--maybe the metal firebrand next to you would be the same?

After all, he was demented and terrifying.

"...It's a birthday cake. I'm," You breathe, eyes wandering as you suppress the embarrassment that this was. "..I'm hosting a boy's birthday party."

What the actual fuck.

Okay, so nevermind, this was very annoying. There were children involved?! Dabi's brows knot together and he's whipping around on you.

"A fucking birthday party? What are you--"

Your smiling features actually causes him some hesitation. His eyes narrow, and he realizes there's something more to it without you even having to voice it.

"Don't worry, you won't see him." You say, nonchalantly, then return to walking along the gravel path.

He grabs your arm though, and his hand is much warmer than a regular hand aught to be. It's a little harsh too, and you almost lose balance of the cake.

"You better tell me what this is about, newbie." He warns, "I don't play this guessing game shit. I don't care what the big guy thinks of you, I'll leave your ashes here with the rest of the dead without even so much as a second thought."

Empty threats? Or was he serious? No, probably serious. His cerulean eyes were searing beneath the inky threads of his hair, and your intuition was thrashing. You were looking death in the face.

It was almost funny how much it didn't scare you. But as much as you knew about death, there was still something that flexed in fear of your mortal peril. Don't die! It says.

"..Alright. I understand." You straighten, but he doesn't let go of your arm. You glance at it, but he doesn't appear to care. He was going to light you up if you pissed him off.

"He's dead. He died three years ago. Today is his eleventh birthday, even though he was nine when it happened. I met him when they had his funeral." Then you're sighing with impatience. Now you had to explain the whole thing.

"I promised him I would come around and help celebrate his birthday. When he was alive, his parents always missed it; out for work or something. Pretty sad for a kid so young right?" Dabi's expression doesn't change, so you just keep going without waiting on a reply.

"So I bought a cake, like I always do, and I'm here to.. you know, celebrate. His birthday. It makes him happy." You sigh again. "Look I know this is ridiculous. I don't expect you, or anyone else, to care. If they weren't worried about me running off, you certainly wouldn't have to be here."

"...You're talking about this kid like he's going to be there." Dabi's voice is surprisingly even.

Oh, right. You had kind of bypassed the most important facet of this information dump.

"He is. I uh.. I see them. Dead people. Spirits. Ghosts. Apparitions." You shrug, rolling your eyes, "Whatever you want to call them."

Well, that certainly gave him something to think about.

Was that even possible? Dabi obviously wasn't much of a religious person himself, he really didn't have time for it and he'd murdered enough people to damn himself to hell and back again. He'd referenced it in passing though, and never took it seriously. If Heroes weren't condemned by society for their heinous and greedy actions--could hell even exist?

Well, she never said she could see hell. Just dead people.

Dead people.

"...Those drawings you do. In the bar.." He starts it off, but you're able to finish for him.

"Yeah. Dead people. Kurogiri told me to draw whoever I see in their vicinity." You inhale, realizing Dabi had finally removed his hand from your arm. "It.. almost sounds like they're expecting someone."

"Huh." He replies, returning to his usual mellow, disinterested self. "So what, your quirk is just.. ghost watching?"

You stifle a laugh, snorting and turning away. Did the human incinerator have a sense of humor?

Though, as you look back at him, he doesn't look amused. You cough to hide it, but it's not like he didn't hear it.

"Er, no. It's more like a side-effect. When I activate my quirk, I can see people's emotions.. in the form of auras. Different colors mean different things. But after I've used it; it's like crossing a barrier. Their world kind of.. overlaps with ours. And I can see them."

"...Yeah, I imagine that went over well in school."

So he did have a sense of humor! Asshole.

"Mm. No, it didn't." You hum, then start going up the path again. You were already kind of late, you didn't want to disappoint the kid.

Dabi let you walk ahead again, watching you--seeing you for the first time. There were numerous reasons why Shigiraki and his master might want you around, and you weren't well versed enough in combat to get away. Actually.. it almost seemed like you didn't want to.

He wondered if society had failed you in the same way it had failed them.

Wait, why do I care?  He inwardly grimaces as he now begins stepping after you. While it was useful to know what you were capable of, he wasn't sure why his mind kept drifting--wondering what your life had been like.

He didn't have enough room in his heart to care about someone as weak as you. He didn't have the room for anyone, only his burning hatred that threatened to swallow him whole, that he welcomed with open, burnt, arms.

...Yet, as you stop at a gravesite and begin unfolding the little table from underneath your arm.. He can't stop picturing what his life might have been like if he had met you as a kid.

Had your parents mistreated you for your quirk? Were you lonely? Did it scare you to see walking corpses when you were that little?

You take a deep breath and step back, glancing in Dabi's direction. "You uh.. don't have to be around for this part."

"Sorry newbie, I'm not going anywhere." He rasps with a little more venom in his voice than before. His arms cross and, in a quiet act of delinquency, he sets his weight on a nearby tombstone. One leg bent, the other out, he watches you like a hawk.

Your eyes flicker over him, and it feels forbidden--but he looks..

Well, he looks good. Even if he is being a little disrespectful to whoever's family tombstone his butt was placed against.

That's crazy. You're crazy. Just--do the thing, and get this weird night over with. You swallow and turn your attention back to the small innocuous tombstone in front of you.

Activating your quirk is nothing special. Most people can't tell the difference between your 'on' state and your 'off' state. It's as simple as a gray haze coming over your pupil and iris. It looks almost like severe cataracts--or, you could even say it looks like the eyes of someone who is dying.

Lovely sentiment.

It takes a few seconds.

"Jo..?" You call out, sitting on your knees. You begin opening the box, revealing a simple vanilla cake with white icing and colorful sprinkles. Once the box is removed, Dabi can just barely make out the 'Happy Birthday' written in blue icing on the top.

Your hand goes to a pocket, and you remove about four birthday candles. Delicately, you stick the candles through the icing and into the sponge of the cake.

"Jo, you didn't forget your birthday did you?"

"Of coursh not!" His head, slightly transparent, peeks out from around the stone to look at you. You can tell he's smiling without seeing his mouth, and his voice echoes like you're in a cave. Obviously not the case, but you suppose 'ghost' voices can't be like normal ones.

You raise a brow at him, feigning a parental look. "Well you better get over here, then! I've got a whole cake here, just for you."

Dabi notes the instantaneous change in your person. It's.. weird, watching you talk to nothing. But the lilt in your voice can't be anything but genuine. You're eyes are a little grey, but he'd never seen so much life in them.

The boy, Jo, comes around and sits on the ledge of his tombstone. The little fold out table is just tall enough, his elbows can sit on it as he admires the cake you had brought him.

The other unfortunate nuance of your quirk was that you didn't see apparitions in a preferred state or in the way the spirit themselves might remember their body. You saw them how they died. Sometimes it's a mess. You've seen victims of villain versus hero battles where they had been crushed by buildings--barely more than a large splatter of blood and flattened bones. Others were simply torn apart, missing limbs or dragging them by the tendons as they moved through the ether.

You were lucky Jo's death had lacked such severity.

He didn't like to talk about it, but you had learned that he'd passed away from overdose. He thought his mother's medications were candies, because they tasted a little like those chalky ones that they bought for him at the corner store when he was upset about something.

It was another night they were working late. The nanny had already put him to bed, leaving him to his own devices. You could imagine that he liked to act out--part of you wondered if he was lying. Maybe he knew he wasn't supposed to steal his mother's medication. Maybe he just wanted her to yell at him about it.

Either way, it was sad.

There were bits of vomit permanently stained to his cheeks, and his neck was thicker than it should be. The way his speech was impaired suggested his tongue was swollen too, but it didn't stop him from talking. He's giddy as he laughs and kicks his feet--telling you about his day spent hanging around some old people on the other end of the cemetery.

"They were kinda cool tho.. Hey, uh--" He stops his little story-telling to lean in closer to you. "I haven't sheen you ashmuch. Where you been?"

"Oh uh.." You give him a little shrug, "I... got a better job. Somewhere else. I'm still around though."

He looks saddened, and you quickly try to change the subject. "But hey, just because I'm not here as much doesn't mean I won't come back for your birthday! At least, not until you're ready to go. Speaking of which.. I think it's time we got this party started!" You pull a lighter out from your back pocket and start lighting the candles.

Dabi's curious about that sentence. 'Until you're ready to go.' Was there.. another part of the afterlife? Were these just, lingering spirits?

He didn't dare ask. Not now, and not later. It was really irritating him how interesting you were.

"There we go!" You set the lighter on the table, the little amber flames dancing in that August breeze. "Ready?"

He's bouncing, like he's been waiting forever for this little moment with you. You could swear there was something glistening in his eyes. You find yourself wondering if the dead could cry.

After in emphatic nod, you start singing.

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear JOooo, Happy birthday to yoou!"

He squeals into laughter, and you do too. Some of the other resident ghosts have gathered just out of the way, watching with knowing stares and sad smiles.

"Think you can blow the candles out this time?" You ask him, hands folding into your lap. There's some tiredness seeping into your eyes from the late hour, and while you cherished this little happy minute of your weird life, you knew you'd be stumbling back to the base if you didn't wrap things up quick.

He puts on the biggest, roundest, cutest face of determination. "I'm gunna twy!"

Filling his cheeks with air, he blows and blows, sputtering over the flames of the candles--to no avail. He deflates. "Aww.."

"Try one more time." You say, giving him a little wink.

He nods, taking in the biggest breath of his--life?--and just blows super hard.

You let your essence slip, just a little. Just a sliver should be enough to give the birthday boy his wish that he deserved. Dabi doesn't notice how one strand of your hair turns silver, but he does notice the chill--and the icy little puff of wind that successfully blows out the candles.

"Woah!" Jo's mouth drops and he stares hard at the little plumes of smoke that drift up from the flameless wicks.

"Well look at that. I hope you made a good wish Jo.. this one might come true." You tease him, beginning to pluck the candles from the cake and making sure they're really out before putting them in the box.

"...I wished it for you."

"Hm?" You stop cleaning up to listen to him. For you?

"I wished for you, sho you could be happy, and have a long and really good life!" He's smiling so hard his eye are shut tight.

Your eyes twitch before they start to water. "Oh, Jo.." You coo, your chest aching and squeezing from the child's innocent, selfless act

Dabi's eye twitches too. Shit, is..are they crying? After thinking he'd get away without it, there you fucking go--

"You didn't have to do that, you know--" Sniff, "It's your birthday.."

"Yeah, but.. you've come here every year." Suddenly, the apparition of the nine-year-old seemed much older. His eyes hold a deeper sorrow than a boy that age should. "I think the others are right. It'sh your turn to have fun. If you're shomewhere else.. you don't gotta come back for me."

"What?"

"I think I'm gonna go. I'm weady."

"..Are you sure?" Your voice croaks, and you have to wipe the tears away before they get into your mouth.

You can just hear the gravelly and annoyed noise coming from a few tombstones down as Dabi pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah." Jo reaches out and places his hand near you face. He can't touch you, but he tries anyway. "Thank you. You've been the best frwend ever."

Oh god--you choke, but force a big smile. "Yeah?... You have been too, buddy." You try to place your hand over his, but all you feel is the cold tingle of his leftover energy. He gradually begins to fade.

It's the last time you'll see him.

No more midnight trips to the cemetery in August.

It's great to know that for you, people can die twice.

When he's gone, you just feel empty. You sit there, looking at nothing for a few more seconds, letting some more tears slip down your face. Pulling in that shaky, last-minute breath before you finish boxing the cake and folding the table.

It wasn't all bad. You knew he was going somewhere nice, where he'd be loved again. It just, hurt a little; like it always does.

You wipe at your eyes again as you start on the path, walking past a visibly agitated Dabi--which you choose not to address.

Though as he pushes himself back up to follow after you, he does something you don't expect.

He takes the table from your arm, and holds it under his instead--giving you some freedom. With that arm, you're able to wipe the remaining tears from your face.

"Than--"

"Don't say a word." He warns, not even glancing at you.

He knows he should've done something much worse. He should've.. not cared. Complained about how this was all nonsense, berated you for wasting his time with emotional shit..

But he couldn't.

He hadn't really understood, fully, what had happened between you and the dead kid--but he got bits and pieces of it. He'll never forget the way you sung happy birthday. And he was able to deduce that the kid had gone away, permanently, somehow. That's why you were crying.

He audibly sighs from frustration.

He'd had hasty thoughts of you before; moments where he wondered what he could take from you while in the base. You weren't the vixens he got toasted at the bar and brought to his bed, but you could've been something to bide his time with between scouting and incinerating.

But those thoughts were gone now.

You were too good. Too kind to be used as a quick fix. You weren't mean enough, or crazy enough, to be a part of the League of Villains. But that wasn't his choice, and he doubted it was yours either.

And no matter how good, how kind, how giving  you were... No society was ever going to accept you fully. Not for everything that you were.

Walking in silence, you steal a glance at the darkly clothed man next to you.. and you can see just a slimmest outline of cerulean around his features as your quirk slowly recedes.

The color that matched his eyes.. was the same color as sympathy.

You turn to hide your surprise at the little revelation. You were pretty sure he didn't have the capacity for that emotion--yet, you had evidence.

"Listen, newbie."

Oh no.

"I have to tell the others about your quirk." He states it like it's annoying, but you're absolutely relieved.

"Oh. I uh, I don't care. Not sure why Kurogiri didn't say anything anyway I was just.. you know. It's kind of.." Weird? Creepy? Morbid? These are villains we're talking about here. "..it tends to make people uncomfortable."

"Tch." He side-glances at you, teeth showing above his scarred chin in a little grin. "It's our job to make people feel uncomfortable."

Something about that brings you a peace you've never felt before. It feels like home. And you realize--

He said 'our'.

[ifmywishescametrue]

omg now im jealous about all of the breaking up and making up stories!!! they're all so wonderful but is it okay to ask for a steve/tony one? i know you've made one inspired by ts (amazing) and this time, maybe they meet/bump in a coffee shop? idk angst potential but also hopeful/happy ending aahhh. your stories are amazing esp ivy!!! thank you! <3

thank you so much!! it ended up being more cute than angsty, but I hope you like it!

Steve's pencil drifts idly across the page of his sketchbook with no end vision in mind. He's killing time until Nat shows up, which could be anywhere between the next five minutes and the next two hours with her vague text that simply said running late. When he looks up to reach for his near empty coffee cup, he freezes with his hand in the middle of the air.

At first he thinks it might not even actually be him. Tony's hair was never quite this well styled before, always a tangled mop on his head that sometimes fell into his eyes. Steve used to spend hours sometimes running his fingers through those wild curls while Tony slept on his chest. It's been tamed since then, cut shorter and held into place by some type of product. The facial hair is new, too. He remembers a time when it would always come in patchy and uneven, and Tony would pout as he shaved away the latest attempt at looking older than he was. The eighteen year old boy in oversized hoodies and stained jeans he met years ago has been replaced by a man in a well-pressed, expensive looking suit with a leather briefcase, like he just stepped out of a boardroom a minute ago. From what Steve has read about his life since they broke up, he probably did.

Steve stares without fully meaning to and for much longer than he would have if it was intentional. He watches him order his drink and smiles when the barista’s eyes widen at what he knows is an overly complicated order, wondering if Tony ever did finish his quest to find that perfect combination of syrup flavors, sugar, and cream that only he would ever like.

He catches the double take when Tony notices him there, right as he’s taking his first sip of the iced drink, and the cough when he chokes on it is anything but subtle. Steve looks away with red cheeks and tries to pretend he wasn’t staring, but it’s a futile effort. He can’t say he minds, though. Not when it means Tony walks over to him and unceremoniously drops himself into the chair across from him.

His mouth forms a familiar smirk, and he says, “You seem to have a staring problem, Rogers.”

Suddenly, Steve is nineteen again, falling hopelessly in love with the boy in his introductory chemistry class. It felt sort of like fate at first when they were paired together for the final project, and Steve remembers thinking that his chances were shot to hell when Tony sat down next to him and said those exact words. He never was any good at being discreet.

Back then, for that first time, all he could manage was a stuttered apology in response. But eventually it became their thing. Something just for them that no one else could ever understand. When Steve would watch him from across the room at parties, because he knew how much Tony loved having his eyes on him, and Tony would saunter over with that same smirk and those same words, there was only ever one reply.

“Guess I just really like what I see,” Steve says, and Tony’s face splits into a grin that matches Steve’s own. He’s still beautiful, even if it’s different now. Less softness to his appearance and more defined edges and sharp lines, but heart stoppingly beautiful nonetheless. He doesn’t quite say as much, but he does comment, “You do look good, by the way. Different, but good.”

Tony’s smile softens into another familiar one. It’s his smile for compliments, when he’s thinking self-deprecating thoughts that he won’t voice. Instead he’ll turn the attention back around, shifting the spotlight.

“So do you. The good part, but not really the different part.”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, contemplating if not looking different contributes to the good or not. He should look different somehow, shouldn’t he? After two and a half years not seeing each other in person and what feels like a lifetime’s worth of heartbreak in between then and now, he should look as changed as he feels. As changed as Tony looks now, like he’s someone new entirely. He’s pretty sure the t-shirt he’s wearing now is one he owned back then.

“Thanks,” Steve says anyway, for lack of anything better.

Just before it has the chance to fall into awkward silence, Tony says, “I didn’t know you were in New York these days. I would’ve called or something if I’d known.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Would you have?”

“I don’t know, maybe. I would’ve thought about it, at least. You know, stalked you online, found your number, dialed and hung up a few times.”

Steve laughs, fiddling with the straw wrapper from earlier to give himself something to look at other than Tony. “I moved back last year. Thought about calling, but I figured you were busy. Didn’t want to waste your time.”

It’s only a partial truth. He did think about calling when he came to Brooklyn after his year-long internship in London ended, but he didn’t want to know what Tony would say if he did. If he would have some sort of transparent excuse to avoid seeing him or if it would be an outright rejection.

“I would’ve made time for you,” Tony says, so painfully sincere that Steve has to look up again to meet his eyes.

He wonders if Tony is thinking of that last fight, if it’s a purposeful or coincidental reference to some of what Steve said. It was by far the worst fight they’d ever had, all over the phone with an ocean between them and so many things that Steve still wishes he could take back. Accusations flew on both sides until the entire thing was blown so completely out of proportion, yet impossible to reel back in. He should have just hung up the phone before it went that far. Before he could tell Tony that he always felt unimportant compared to everything else in his life, which was sometimes true but entirely unfair. Before Tony could say that Steve talked about Peggy in the same way he used to talk about him, and he didn’t have to finish the thought for Steve to understand the implication.

“Are we talking about it?” Steve asks.

Tony shrugs, feigning casual, but just the corner of his lip is between his teeth in that way that means he’s nervous and trying to hide it. “I guess that depends on what this is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we said back then that maybe it was just bad timing. You were in London, and I was in Boston until graduation, and it was always going to be a bit of a mess, but there was always that someday chance, right? So maybe this is someday, and we talk about it, and try to get it right this time,” Tony says. “Or maybe that was just something we said and didn’t mean, and I ask you about your life, and you ask about mine, and we talk and laugh and pretend that we’re friends again for the next half hour or so before we go our separate ways.”

It’s an easy choice, really. If there’s one thing that Steve’s sure of, it’s that it’s always been him and always will be.

“I don’t want to go separate ways,” Steve says. “The first time was hard enough, and I never really moved on. I got better, but I don’t think I’ve been more than just fine in a long time.”

Tony nods slowly, “I kept thinking you would call, you know. Back then. I thought you would call and tell me that it was a mistake and it would be okay again, but you never did. Although, I guess I could’ve called, too.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“For the same reason as you, probably. I couldn’t risk it if you didn’t want me again. Couldn’t risk getting back together just to break up again, either. We weren’t exactly the poster children for making long distance work.”

“We were terrible at it, weren’t we?”

Tony’s smile is tinged with the pain of the past. “It’s kind of funny because I remember thinking that it might be a good thing for us when you told me about London. Can’t get sick of somebody if they’re not always around.”

“You thought I would get sick of you? You never told me that.”

“Why would I?” Tony laughs. “Just put all my insecurities on display like that? Come on, Steve, that doesn’t sound like me, does it?”

Steve laughs with him briefly, “No, but I could’ve told you back then that it wasn’t possible. Told you that I wanted you around all the time and I missed you every second you were gone. I might’ve even stayed if you had told me. I was thinking about it, you know? I almost turned the internship down. Probably would’ve if you’d asked even once for me not to go.”

“It was your career. I never would’ve asked you to give that up for me.”

“There would have been something else. Another job somewhere closer to you.”

“I still wouldn’t have asked,” Tony says. “And I would have told you to go if you’d said you were staying.”

Steve knows that, which is why they never talked about it much before he left. Tony pretended to be happy for him, and Steve pretended to be happy for himself, when really it already felt like the beginning of the end. A year apart is longer than it seems, and it didn’t take more than a few months to realize it.

“I never…” Steve starts, trailing off when he doesn’t quite know how to finish the sentence. “There was never anyone else. Not while we were together, and never with Peggy.”

“I know. I knew back then, too, that you were never that kind of person. Jealousy’s just a real bitch sometimes.”

“There’s really not been anyone since, either,” Steve adds, and Tony’s mouth quirks into a half smile. “I mean, a couple of people here and there, but nothing like what we were.”

“There’s not a whole lot out there like what we were, is there?”

Steve smiles, leaning back in his chair, “No, there’s really not. But I do remember reading a rumor that you got engaged.”

Tony groans, and it’s so much like he used to sound when he was nine pages deep into a ten page essay at three in the morning that Steve has to laugh.

“Don’t you dare laugh. That rumor haunts me, Steven,” Tony says, belied by a grin that he seemingly can’t control. “Do you know how I found out about my supposed engagement? When my mother called and asked why I hadn’t told her I was planning on proposing.”

“So I’m still the only person you’ve ever proposed to,” Steve teases, just for the way he knows Tony will get indignant about it.

“How many times do I have to tell you that one didn’t count?”

“You were on one knee, you asked a question, and you had a ring. All the boxes are checked, sweetheart.”

“It was a blue raspberry ring pop, and you ate it,” Tony argues. “Not to mention that I actually asked you to marry me someday in the distant future. That’s not a proposal.”

Steve laughs again, thinking about that day in the middle of their living room, just a few weeks before Steve got the call that would take him to London and change everything. It was almost like a joke, and for anyone else it would have been. Not for them, though, because Steve remembers the look in Tony’s eyes when he dropped down in front of him, spur of the moment and impulsive like almost everything was back then. He remembers how it still felt like a promise, even if it wasn’t the real thing.

“But I said yes, which I think technically means we’re still engaged.”

“Absolutely not,” Tony scoffs. “It’s going to be a production when we get engaged. Elaborate and planned and romantic as hell.”

“When, huh?” Steve grins.

Tony’s cheeks pinken a touch, but he doesn’t take it back. He reaches for Steve’s hand on the table. “Yeah, when. Is that alright with you?”

Steve threads their fingers together, holding on tight. “That’s alright with me.”

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [two] // daisy johnson

summary: same as the first chapter – it was too long to post in one so this is the remainder of it!

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

"What do you think?"

I raised an eyebrow as I poked my head inside the van, glancing around at the cramped space that had stupidly been turned into a living space. There was also, weirdly enough, a computer in the corner which made absolutely no sense.

"I think I have no idea what I'm looking at," I admitted, before looking to an excited Skye beside me. "What is this?"

She bit her lip to contain her grin as she patted the van's door proudly. "This is my new rig."

I almost laughed. "You're kidding."

Her smile lessened. "I'm not."

Now I definitely laughed. "Skye, c'mon, be serious. Whose van is this?"

Her smile disappeared as she clenched her jaw with annoyance. "It's mine. Sorry it isn't fancy enough for you, your majesty."

When I realised she was serious, I lost my smile and looked between the van and her. "Skye, where the hell did you get a van? You can't even drive!"

Clearly holding in her anger, she began to push past me and slide the doors shut. "He said you wouldn't get it," she mumbled to herself, but I heard.

"He?" I questioned with raised eyebrows. "Who the hell is he?"

"Miles," she snapped, stopping moving and looking to me. "Miles is the one who got me the van. He said it was a bad idea to show you and clearly he was right, Y/N. You took one look at it and laughed. He was right."

I smiled tightly, trying not to get worked up at the mention of Skye's new friend. She'd befriended this 'Miles' guy within the past few months and wouldn't stop meeting with him and his friends. He was in the grade above us, but just like her, he'd skip class and do God knows what.

Ever since she'd been hanging around them, she'd been standoffish and distant. She wouldn't contact me as much when she ran away, and she'd been skipping school more often than usual. They were clearly a bad influence on her, but she reassured me she was in control of her own life and knew what she was doing. Being the idiot I am, I fell for her pretty smile and convincing eyes, but this was getting too far now.

"No offence, Skye, but I wouldn't start listening to a guy who can't even make it to class on time," I said to her with a hint of annoyance. "Why do you need a van anyway?"

"Why not?" she countered with her arms crossed. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally taking responsibility. Growing up."

My expression softened. "I've never once said that you had to do either of those things."

"You don't need to say it," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes with a frown. "I know you think it. Everyone does."

I stepped forward, resting a hand on her shoulder and finding her eyes with mine. "Where is this coming from? Skye, I have never thought that. All I've ever wanted for you is to be safe and happy. I'm just worried."

She shrugged me off. "Well, now you don't need to be. I've got this."

"You're seventeen, you should be in school studying, not staying in a van," I said tiredly. "You've been missing so much. How are you gonna graduate?"

She avoided my eyes. "That's another thing... I've been thinking and, well, I don't think I want that."

I widened my eyes with disbelief. "What?"

Still avoiding my eyes, she continued, "I don't think I want to graduate."

I was too surprised to find words so quickly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How can you not want to graduate?!" I asked suddenly, finding my words. "It's what you do! It's what we all do!"

She met my eyes with apologetic ones. "It's what you do, Y/N. I don't want to be at a place that makes me feel like shit. I can't keep pretending I fit in when I don't."

"This isn't you," I told her sternly. "We were supposed to graduate together. You're not stupid, Skye. I can help you study. You can't just give up."

"I'm not," she said with certainty. "I finally know what I'm doing. That's all."

I squeezed my fists together to contain my frustration. "And what's that?"

"The Rising Tide–"

"For fuck's sake!" I cut her off, before hitting the van door with frustration.

"Miles has taught me a lot!" she defended. "They do a lot of good, Y/N! I just want to be apart of something bigger. Something that can help me help others. And something that can help me find my family. My real family."

I clenched my jaw, knowing I was too late in convincing her otherwise. Whatever Miles and the others had told her about their stupid hacking group had worked – she was dropping out of high school and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"You're gonna be going to university and we both know I can't afford it," she said gently. "We couldn't stay together forever, Y/N. And my foster family definitely don't care what happens to me. I don't fit in anywhere."

I looked to her with glassy eyes. "You fit in with me. You always have."

She pursed her lips as she stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't make that clear enough," I added bitterly.

"That's not it and you know it," she muttered, shaking her head. "I have to do this. I have to figure myself out. Alone."

I felt stupid for letting her do everything she did leading up to this point. If I had just tried a little harder, maybe things could have been different.

"You're not alone though, are you?" I asked rhetorically. "You've got your new pals at the Rising Tide. It's their damn fault you're doing all this."

"They're not as bad as you think!"

"You've changed because of them!" I argued back. "They created a barrier between you and I. It's because of them that you've... that you've..."

"What?" she snapped, glaring at me. "That I'm finally thinking for myself?!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and straightened up. "Forget it, just– forget it. I've got a midterm to study for."

She snickered harshly. "Of course. Don't want me slowing you down."

I stayed quiet and turned around to leave. I couldn't see past my anger as I left her with her stupid van. 

Of course, the two of us had been friends for a lot longer than that silly argument, so I was quick to realise how much I actually cared about her and her life, and wanted to apologise for how harsh and unsupportive I sounded.

The next day after school, I decided to head over to her foster family's place to hopefully talk to her. I'd had enough time to think about it and knew I was a lot more levelheaded now that I'd had some space.

I knocked on the front door and waited before an older blonde woman answered. I recognised her as Skye's foster mum, Sally.

"Hi, Mrs Collins," I greeted with a smile. "I'm looking for–”

"Mary doesn't live here anymore," Sally cut me off instantly, surprising me.

I had almost forgotten that Skye's foster family knew her as the name she was given by her orphanage – Mary Sue Poots.

"She doesn't?" I asked with confusion. "But I thought–"

"Goodbye, Miss Y/L/N," Sally interrupted, before slamming the door in my face.

I blinked with confusion before turning around and walking down the steps. It had been a while since I last visited Skye at home. In fact, she made sure I never visited her at home. I guess now I knew why. But then where the hell was she living?

As I walked around the neighbourhood trying to think about where Skye could be, I saw a familiar van parked up on the side of the street and put the pieces together.

Guiltily, I approached the van and sucked up a deep breath before knocking on the side. It didn't take long for the door to slide open and reveal Skye herself.

"Hey," I said quietly, noticing her surprised expression. "Can we talk?"

She licked her lips nervously and nodded, before moving to the side to let me in. I climbed inside and watched as she shut the door before settling on the seat in front of me. I looked around and realised the little details I hadn't noticed yesterday. The little things that made this place Skye's and nobody else's.

"I'd offer you a drink, but I don't have any," she joked to lighten the mood, and I couldn't help but crack a small smile.

I breathed out before meeting her eyes. "Skye, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like that. If I had known that this was your home, I–"

"You didn't know," she said, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to know. It's my fault."

I pursed my lips, watching as she looked away with pink cheeks. It hurt me to know that she was embarrassed when I didn't care about any of this, I just cared about her.

"I want you to know that I respect your decision to join the Rising Tide," I said gently, making her look up. "If it's what you want, you should go for it."

"It is," she said with certainty.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth before asking, "Is there no way you can finish high school though? Graduate with me?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to, Y/N."

"But that's the bare minimum," I pleaded. "Hacking isn't a lifestyle. You need to work, too, and I can promise you that most places won't look to hire a high school dropout."

She leaned back in her seat and shrugged nervously. "Miles isn't graduating either. And he's got some friends who haven't graduated. They're all doing fine."

I looked down and pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration. I promised myself I wouldn't argue with her, but the mention of her other friends was like a trigger.

"What now?" she asked with annoyance, realising I was annoyed. "You clearly have something to say about them."

"It doesn't matter," I said, biting my tongue.

"Sure it doesn't," she played along.

"It doesn't," I agreed.

"Yeah, and the Hulk isn't bright green," she said sarcastically.

I looked up and glared at her. She stared back challengingly, practically daring me to speak. So, I did.

"Your new hacker friends are the reason you're making these choices," I told her straight. "They're the reason you're making a huge mistake. The reason you're dropping out. And for what? So you can hack like them?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know you look down on us, but we're more than that."

"Skye, I don't give a shit about them!" I shouted without meaning to. "I only care about you!"

"Then stop talking crap about my friends!" she returned angrily.

"Why do you care about them so much?!"

"They gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere! They made me feel like I belonged!"

I frowned, anger replacing with hurt. "I always offered you a place to stay. I only ever wanted you to be safe. You never needed to be different with me. You belonged. Always."

She swallowed hard and looked away from me ashamedly. "Well it doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving."

I breathed out deeply. "School? Our town? Leaving what?"

"All of it," she said quietly. "I don't expect you to understand."

I looked down to my fumbling hands, a tear slipping from my eye. I had never felt so angry at someone before in my life. She was treating me like I was a stranger, as if I wasn't somebody who knew her inside out. She was treating me like she treated everyone else except her new friends. And I couldn't deal with it anymore.

"Fine," I said, before moving to open the door. I jumped out her van and didn't spare her a glance as I said, "Have fun with the rest of your life. Sorry I didn't care enough."

She didn't say anything and I didn't expect her to. With a broken heart and headache, I left and didn't bother turning back.

—

"What do you mean she's run away?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Mr Lock said apologetically. "Her foster family got the note this morning. They're doing what they can to find her. She always turns up, you know that."

I knew her family didn't care if she was gone or not, so I knew Skye definitely wouldn't be found. Unlike usual, Skye hadn't contacted me before leaving, so something told me she wouldn't be turning up.

Our argument was over a week ago and I hadn't seen her since. It had been eating away at me the way we'd left things, but I couldn't find it in myself to face her. I had no idea what to say anyway. And I wasn't sure when she was planning on leaving, so I didn't think it was important right now. Clearly, I was wrong.

"I just thought you should know," Mr Lock said with a nod. "The police will come by soon to get a statement from you."

As usual. Except this time, I actually had no idea where she was.

I nodded, my mouth going dry. "Thank you... can I go now?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Of course."

I left his office and headed straight outside behind the bleachers where nobody could hear or see me. The first thing I did was try to ring Skye, but there was no answer and no way to leave a voicemail. I tried several times, hoping she'd pick up, but she didn't. And that's when I remembered the burner phone.

Immediately pulling it out, I turned it on and saw the message from her appear on my screen. I was quick to open it, my heart racing like it did every time she ran away. I knew she wasn't coming back this time though.

Hey, Y/N. I know you probably hate me, but I felt like I owed you this. I said I was leaving and I have. I can't tell you where. And I'm not good at goodbyes. I've had too many of them and I couldn't bring myself to say it to you. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I never wanted to, but I guess some things are inevitable, huh? I've managed to do it all my life, this isn't any different. I'm just sorry if I hurt you in the process. Anyway, this is pretty long and I don't even know if you read it, but yeah. I'm sorry. I wish things could have been different.

The text ended there and I found myself rereading it to myself over and over, her words imprinted in my mind. I knew we'd argued and exchanged hurtful words, but I never in a million years thought she'd leave without saying goodbye. I thought I meant more to her than this. But no. I was just another foster family she ran away from. And I wasn't so sure I'd see her again.

[poltoreveur]

Save Your Tears

Pairing : James Potter x Reader

Summary : James couldn't able to make up his mind whether or not he wants to stay or to run away from the entire relationship. You made the conscious decision to ended it all.

Warning : Angst, Swearing/Cursing, Underage Drinking.

Words count : 2,7k+

A/N : I've been listening to the weeknd all week and I got an idea while listening to this song. Btw, this is actually the THIRD time I tried rewriting this fic, I hate tumblr for not saving. Not read proof. After the second time, I got upset and just winged it.

The gif is mine.

The party was packed with students, all from each of the houses.

They were all laughing and having a great time with one another. Everybody certainly had their own thing and another to talk to ━ some were flirting and others were trying to make small talk with, but then there was James.

He noticed his friends had already have their own company and left the party moments ago.

It left him by himself but it wasn't like it was the first time, that it had ever happened.

James couldn't really remember what they were there for.

It was not like they had a quidditch game, that wouldn't explain the fact that everybody was practically there.

As his thoughts led him nowhere, instead he let his loneliness take charge and whisk him away to the bar, as he finally gotten himself a drink for the first time that night.

But then, he just stood there - with nobody but a cup full of firewhisky in his hand. Despite the drink being the thing he absolutely love, it seem like it couldn't save him this time. Even with his reputation as a drinker, he only had a sip of his drink so far.

As much as he couldn't refuse not going to a party this massive, he still couldn't bring himself to enjoy it.

He didn't wanted to be there.

His enthusiasm already left him body ages ago.

It was replaced with the feeling of heat as he felt his body tensing up. It all came rushing to him when he couldn't find anything else to stare at but you.

I saw you dancing in a crowded room. You look so happy when I'm not with you.

He kept on eyeing you from across the room.

You had came in to the party with your friends, having the time of your life, laughing and joking since the moment you entered the room.

It was the first time he saw you enjoying yourself in quite a while.

Your attention was so easily distracted that you failed to notice his fiery gaze on your back, watching your every movement.

You felt your body suddenly colliding with another on someone's back, you smiled once they turned around to see the seventh grade student that you've been talking to recently.

You've known him for quite a few weeks, when the two of you had ran into each other during one of his study sessions in the library.

He wasn't that terrible looking if you had to admit to yourself, and he certainly was a decent guy at first glance.

And as the time goes, the two of you started hanging around each other much more often.

You didn't really thought of much of the relationship you had with him until there were days he started to flirt with you.

And you couldn't deny it, you absolutely love the attention he was giving in to you. And at times, you would flirt back to him, trying to tease him a little.

As you noticed that your friends had paired up with some of his, you felt his hands reached down to your waist. You didn't mind it as you surely enjoyed it and lean your body back against his.

In a way, you knew that he wasn't really that interested in you. Your mind slowly realize that he probably had some other intentions than just dancing. And you were quickly proven right as you felt his hand slither down your sides again.

Though, you didn't like the idea of being taken advantage of, you certainly didn't objected to the idea of having sex with him for the night.

You let your mind take charge of your body rather than your conscious and it quickly turn heated when you felt him kissing your neck up his way to your jaw.

You couldn't deny it, you were certainly enjoying it.

As you turned around to face him and hooking your arms around his shoulder, you finally saw the eyes that was staring at you from the moment you walked into the party.

But then you saw me, caught you by surprise.

His gaze was still fixated on you, even when you already caught him red handed.

But then you soon came to realize, that you haven't seen his face this clearly for a long time.

It had been a while, it seem like you had almost forgotten how he looked like.

With all your attention suddenly averted to him, from where he had stand, the light from the room slowly showed the broad of his facial structure.

You hadn't realized how much you really do enjoy looking at him.

From where you were standing, the light had seem to bring out of his features than you had noticeably ignored before.

His face was lit only by the beam of light circular in the room. With that, you could see that he was building himself a sharper jawline than before and his face was becoming more structured somehow.

You started to wonder if it had anything to do with the two of you or you really couldn't care less to pay attention even back then at the time you were together.

Ever since the two of you parted in your own ways, you tried your best trying to avoid him at all cost.

Finding the longest way possible to get to class. Making yourself the last person to enter and first person to leave.

Even went out of your way by pushing those people who are ever close with him and avoiding the same crowd altogether.

During the time, you felt more like yourself, having your own crowd and being associated by who you are and not just James Potter's girlfriend.

Cutting off the people that surrounds him was quite easy and relieving to say the least. But his friends, couldn't stand the idea ━ mostly, Remus.

He had kept on insisting and trying to get the two of you back by saying how the we should 'sit down and have a nice conversation together.' Which you had replied by laughing in his face and promptly walking away.

But here you are again.

Finally looking at him, after weeks has passed that you seem to forgotten how his eyes may even look, you didn't know if it was from rage, the heat of the room or looking at you with someone else.

A single teardrop falling from your eye.

"You alright?"

If it wasn't for the boy to speak up, interrupting your thoughts ━ you wouldn't have even noticed the tear that was already rolling down onto your cheeks.

"Oh, yeah, 'm alright."

You look back at him, he was gripping his drink as tight as he can but his face showed a different type of emotions.

It was desperation.

You didn't know from where, and you certainly didn't stop to think if you had cause it because, how could you.

"I need to go for a moment, if you don't mind."

You excuse yourself from the senior you were dancing with, which in that moment, you didn't want to admit that his name got washed away in your mind.

I don't know why I run away.

The breakup wasn't entirely your decisions.

Though it was you who ended things off, it still wasn't your full decision to do so.

And now anger.

Anger was filling up your body from the thought of your relationship with James.

You started to think back to the night of the break up. How much there were lots of screaming and fighting, but funny was that it wasn't from your part.

You were absolutely baffled and disgusted on how you have learned to love someone as a monster like him in this world.

Not even back then you would give a thought to slap him or shout at him or even hit him no matter what anger you were building up.

But this time, you wanted to scream.

You wanted to shout at his face.

Screaming in the top of your lungs and asked him, how. How could he made you feel like that.

To make you feel as if being with you as a struggle, a problem between the choice to stay or just to end the entire relationship off.

But you knew since the moment he told you, that whatever comes next, it wasn't even your choice.

You could've asked me why I broke your heart. You could've told me that you fell apart.

That night, he kept on pushing you, edging you, trying to make you think that he wasn't there to stay. He wasn't gonna be there.

From his choices, from the moment he started to push his ways with you ━ everything that you did that night, is because it was everything he wanted to do but couldn't bring himself to do so.

But that night, it wasn't the only thing that was already handled off without you.

The thing you felt most absolutely disgusted from him was his reaction. It was the only you didn't hope for and the thing that you didn't expected from his was, relived.

The emotion plastered across his face and if someone could truly die out of a broken heart, yours was that moment right there.

You couldn't even stop to question him.

You couldn't bring yourself to ask him, why.

Because even though that question was drumming in your head, that question was already long answered when he is going back and forth between his two options.

To stay or to leave.

Funny how it was the only thing that was running through his mind during the relationship.

You couldn't stay.

Not in the relationship, not at the party.

But you walked past me like I wasn't there. And just pretended like you didn't care.

You knew this awful painful night had to end.

You couldn't stand there with the thought of hurting and breaking in your head while he was glaring at you from across the room.

The tear was already dried up from the moment you started reminiscing back to what you were.

It was quite a while before your body could function properly without breaking down in the near sight of him.

You needed to leave.

Your throat had felt so much more drier than before you were quickly hit with the wave of emotions.

But you held it against yourself.

You told yourself that you couldn't bring yourself to do so, not after the damage he had caused you.

As you tried walking pass him, trying to get to the nearest exit, something stopped you from doing so.

"Please."

You heard his voice called out over the loud sound of the room, the first word you heard from ever since, as you tried quickly walk pass him.

Take me back 'cause I wanna stay.

The question 'why' started going through your mind again. And come to think of it, you knew it was stupid for you to question why he did it.

No matter how and technicality that it was you who broke it off, but it was his conscious idea to make you drive away and leave him.

You still wanted to scream at him.

Out of everything, he made you an option.

Even in the relationship you were almost disposable, easily abandoned in his eyes.

You kept on walking, ignoring his calls for you but of course, your terms of avoidance had to stop sooner or later.

"Fucking Merlin, would you please just stop already."

You didn't, you still kept your pace as you walk pass him and was heading for the door.

"I swear to- fuck. Won't you just stop it?"

"I did, James. I stop it."

"I stop the relationship that you were so confused to even continue or keep fighting for."

You too tired for another argument.

Seeing him tonight was already draining your energy.

But not for James, he surprisingly stunned.

He had never seen you with such anger, even in the relationship or with other people, you never let yourself to implode and scream at them, no matter what mistake they did you wrong.

But every person has their limit. And James coherently proved yours.

"Fucking hell, just- please, just listen."

"What do you want? Wasn't driving me away enough? Do you want me to feel bad as well for your sorrows?"

Her words really did pain him.

But in a way, he knew he deserves it ━ after everything he had made go through.

"But can we just-"

"Fuck James, I don't want to talk about it."

His lips slowly connect with each other again, sealing himself from saying another word.

He let go of your arm that he didn't even knew he was clenching on to and slowly let his hand down.

"You can't do this to me."

She stated as she slowly turn her body to face him.

"You can't make me feel like this and just come running back for me, that's not how this works."

His thoughts of what he wanted to say to you, quickly vanishes from his mind.

The pain.

Is this what you have felt back then?

Forcing you to do something that he could've done on his own but didn't have the guts do it himself.

He was stringing you along the relationship ━ dragging you to this long, unwanted emotional battle with his demons.

He kept on pushing the better part of the relationship, making you think that he would've always stay.

But there was a point where he didn't think that he deserves you. It built up a conscious in him, saying to leave, even though he wants to stay.

I said some things that I should never say. I broke your heart like someone did to mine.

"I can't stand it, and I don't want to listen."

"Why James, why? Couldn't you at-least give me a reason why? It's the best you can do after driving me to absolute madness these few weeks."

"Because-"

"Because?"

"You know the answer, please don't make me say it."

"No."

"I want to hear it ━ say it to me."

"I can't-"

"James Fleamont Potter, you fucking say it right now or, or."

"What?"

You sigh, you know you can't stand this. You couldn't do this anymore. The argument was getting old and the fights now have nothing to meet its goal.

"We need to break up."

And now you won't love me for a second time.

I realize that I'm much too late and you deserve someone better.

"Don't make me do this the second time, please."

You plead as you stare at him.

As he reach back to his conscious, he could see the tears those were starting to form in your eyes.

Though it pains him to see you sad, your eyes were remarkably beautiful with the gloss of tears over it.

"I can't-"

He started, trying to find the ways to stop you from leaving like the first time but he only could mumbled and trip over his own words and he started to get angry at himself this time.

"I can't- I, I- this isn't fair! You can't! Tell you wouldn't do this, please don't, I-"

"James."

You voice sounded softer as you called out to his name and brush your hand on his shoulder.

He look back at you, seeing that the gloss in your eyes have fallen down from your cheeks all the way to the bottom of your jaw.

Save your tears for another day.

He couldn't stand seeing you like this.

'No, no, no.'

As his hand tried to reach for your face, you reluctantly move away and stop him from doing so.

He didn't want you to cry.

All the things that had happen for the last few minutes had been even more harder for him than it has for the last few weeks.

He knew he still loved you a lot, and maybe in a different, you still love him as well.

As you lowered his hand down, pushing it away, you gave him a weak smile before promptly leaving the room.

Even if he did drove you to it, James feels regret for breaking your heart.

When he realizes he made a grave mistake by letting her go, he tried attempting to rekindle the relationship you both once had but there was never a perfect time to do so.

Now, seeing that you're no longer interested in a relationship with him, really broke him.

It wasn't like you weren't hurting either, but it pains him the most that he will never get a chance to find someone who loves him like you did.

Furiously, he finally gulped down the drink he was holding for the past hour.

It burns his throat as he drank it with anger and smashes the glass onto the wall, causing everybody to look over at his direction.

He wishes that you walk back into the room and leap into his arms again like you use to.

But he knew he couldn't wait for something to happen, the universe just doesn't work like that.

Now, it was already way too late.

[sonthesheep]

Satisfied

felix Escellun X GN! Reader

pronouns used:They/them

Hamilton AU

THIS IS ANGST!!!!!! Jdjsjdhwjdh plus word vomit i just wanna get this out of my system

Gold trim, Fancy wine and the smell of arrogance in the air floated onto a big room of elite people whom had their heels on the dance floor sweeping themselves to the music of violin.

It's the winter ball for the finest people, in a manor the known escell mirun and florian aguis lived.

Felix as the only son of the hosts, weren't as delighted to attend such lavish events but he stood in the ballroom full of unfamiliar faces feeling yet kinda out of place.

women and men from high born families are offering him a dance, trying to win him as if it was a competition on who's going to take him by the hands.

"Good grief, this is the last straw I'm getting out of here" The lad said to himself, feeling the presence of the nobles highly overwhelming

He took a deep breath as he strides out of the venue to take a fresh breath of air, away from the these people whom named elite but never even once he saw someone who caught his eyes.

as he walks away from the loud music, he helped himself by having him welcomed to florian's garden, it was the place which he always saw intriguing and looking at the plants his father took care of will always be enough to take him out of the royalty chaos.

the moon beams down strongly this night, and as he moves forward he caught his gaze onto you, who slightly jumped due to his presence.

"HI!"

the moment then suddenly turned magical for his sight, he thought he never saw you around nor have been familiar by your presence but one thing was for sure you had him captivated.

he admired you in which seemed to me a split second but in his eyes everything went in slow motion.

'I'll never forget the first time I saw your face I have never been the same, Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame and when you said "Hi", I forgot my dang name set my heart aflame, every part aflame'

This is not a game'

"weren't you supposed in the ballroom?" despite being stunned intimidating words came out of his mouth 'fuck' he muttered to himself as he slightly bit his bottom lip in unreadable embarrassment

"Sorry i really don't know if i wasn't supposed to be here but these nerium oleander caught my attention" You said with the most apologetic voice ever but keeping yourself away from the flower

"You know about them?" he asked very surprised, it was a flower which can only be identified for those who knew what it is capable of.

"Oh i do!! I'm just surprised to find them here

they are very rare and is one of the most poisonous flowers found existing i just never knew I'd found them in this place" You gave him a gentle smile as you fixed your posture, offering him a handshake

he took you by your hands, he was as breath taking as he looked he gently shook your palm as he introduced himself

"My name is felix escellun"

"Y/n" you replied

"I never really saw you around here, where's your family from?" He asked as he wondered from what royal's you belonged to.

"I'm just a messenger from one of those families in the ballroom, i never really seemed fit to be there but they still took me here. But that's unimportant when i become one of the greatest warriors in this place, I'll make a name for myself!" You said with a glistening sparkle on your eyes, and hunger ready to take on everything

'So this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level, What the hell is the catch?

It's the feeling of freedom, of seein' the light It's Ben Franklin with a key and a kite You see it, right? '

your conversations lasted in long minutes, both fascinated by the things you shared to each other the way you were both unsatisfied and wanted more in life, more than what everyone tell you to be.

you have the same outlook in life, the same want for change everything was said equal agreement as if harmony existed when both of you met.

the conversations went sweeter as the moments pass by, you were subtly flirting and though he pretends not be affected his cheeks say otherwise. The comfort is amazing, it was like everything is meant to be there.

felix observers your features attentively, how you thumb away your hair carefully and way your voice change as you speak of the things you love truly.

if only he could take you away from the place you're in, far away from everyone to protect you just because you deserve it and he'll be happy to see you fluttering your wings and fly.

"You really have a wonderful home! I felt like romeo and juliet somehow met here as their love story was told" You said all, cheery with your cheeks touching your eyes as you smiled.

"Maybe ours could start here too"

you said with a slight blush on your face, you knew it was an embarrassing line but you took your shot anyways.

"Page one opened" Felix replied with a smile ghosting his lips, he felt like it was too good to be true but his feelings lingered, it was his first time meeting you but you took him places he's never been before through all the things you've made him feel in one night.

He decided to take you inside of the hall, hands intertwined together as he offered you a dance it you were both having a great time, and familiar figure walked by the two of you and greeted

"Who is this person felix? they're ethereal"

Scylla, His sister said, her stance was elegant and everything about her is of finest goods.

Felix saw a different glow onto his sister's face, something he never saw before.

"This Y/N, Y/N this Scylla my sister"

"Sister? You're just as majestic scylla! if It takes being in a war for us to meet then it would've been worth it" You complimented.

"I don't wanna be rude to my brother here, but would you mind if i take them for a small dance!?" Scylla smiled with a sly smile on her face

'this one's mine' she whispers, but felix gave an annoyed snort in disbelief

'you wish scylla'

Despite the small banter, felix lets you dance with her sister who took a liking to you

it was a wonderful night but he realizes the most important things throughout the night.

it was already time for you to go, He kissed you knuckles goodbye as he looked at you

"We'll meet again that's for sure" felix smiled as you wave him goodbye

"I'll be back here again!"

A year has passed and crowds cheered onto the moonlight, fancy decorations painted same the tall walls where the ball once happened, golden trims of fabric greeted the newly weded couple whomst hold the most genuine smiles on their face.

familiar faces flooded the ball room, eyes all fixated to the stars of the night, it's finally time to reminisce how sweet their first meet was, and as the visitors applauded sage lesath stirred up the crowd to welcome another important guest

"Alright, alright

That's what I'm talkin' about

Now, everyone give it up for the maid of honor

Felix Escellun"

The crowd shouted louder through his presence, hands clapping and glasses clinking in celebration, Felix smiled as he raised a wine glass on his left hand.

"A toast to the newly wedded partners from a brother who's happy for the union and hope you provide!"

he smiles yet the hint of bitterness tickled his cheeks, he looked onto your eyes with regrets but it was masked up with his facade

"I've never seen scylla with such passion in her eyes before you, you bring the best of my sister i knew she'd be right for you. Writing the first letter for both of you to bond deeper is something i never regret doing"

"May you two always be satisfied"

His gray eyes then sparkled with tears ready to gush down any moment from now, not because of joy but for the choice he made, To let his sisyer be happy, and let you go onto her arms now as her wedded partner.

It was the hard choice to make, the jealousy in his heart tugs as he fantasize how would it have been if he just didn't give you up, but he knew scylla has never been this genuinely happy even once in her life before you.

everything flashes on the back of his mind, his responsibilities as the heir, and everything in his shoulders he wanted you, he really did

and this is the only way he could have you in his sight.

'and i will never be satisfied'

THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL SHIT I'VE WRITTEN I'M- KSHSISHDUW I CANNOT THIS WILL HAVE A PART TWO FOR REDEMPTION!!! I'M CRYING

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodsimp21]

Request From Wattpad: Remember the confession tree episode? Go along with the plot line of that episode, but when Hanako so called, "confessed" to Y/n, he actually meant it and really loved her. But he still has to stick to the plan and destroy the tree. Later when Y/n realized Hanako's confession was only a trick, she cries and the said ghost tells her how he really feels.

Confession Tree - Mod Yashiro

Hanako-kun x Female Reader Angst and Fluff [ANIME SPOILERS, EPISODE 5]

"So for tomorrow, why don't we meet up by the big tree in the garden?"

Letting out a small sigh, you looked up at the clock as a giddy feeling went through your body. This was your last class, and you've been waiting impatiently for it to end.

Why? Well to put it short, your crush had asked you to meet up at the tree in the garden.

...

Okay, it didn't seem that interesting, but it wasn't just an ordinary tree! Everyone called it the Confession Tree, and everyone who confessed under that special tree had became a couple. You've been meaning to confess to him for a while now, but the feeling of being rejected always got to you, but now that he wants to talk to you there, he must like you back!

"Miss L/N, are you listening?" You teacher asked, which made you snap out of your thoughts. "H-Huh, oh, yup!" You stammer, but right before he could ask anything else, the bell rang. 'Perfect timing!' You beamed in your mind, grabbing your bag and quickly made your way out of the classroom.

⋆✧—— ✧ *⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧——⋆✧

Taking a deep breath, you walk towards the well-known tree. You brushed off your skirt a bit and looked ahead of you to see the ghost that had stolen your heart.

'This is it...this is the moment I've been waiting for..' You thought, a soft blush covering your cheeks as you took in his features.

"H..Hey, Hanako..!" You stammered, approaching the boy who turned around to look at you. "There you are." Hanako said with a soft smile, meeting you the rest of the way. He grabbed your hands and held them gently, causing your heart to start beating quicker and quicker.

"Listen, Y/N. I know we've been friends for a while now.." The Bathroom Ghost murmured, locking eyes with you. "And over that time, I can't help but feel something more for you. I...I love you, Y/N."

Once those words left his lips, you were absolutely frozen. 'No way...No way!' The ghost boy you've been crushing on for weeks had just confessed his love for you. A bright blush appeared on your cheeks as you smiled brightly with a warm feeling in your chest. You were so caught up in the joy you were feeling, that you didn't even notice you hadn't said anything.

"....Y/N..?" Hanako muttered, leaning his head over to your ear. "You're supposed to tell me that you don't like me back." That's what snapped you out of your daze as your loving expression turned into a confused one. "Huh..?" You mumbled.

"I don't like you like that." Hanako whispered back, looking between you and the tree. Your eyes widened slightly, that was a painful stab to the heart. You've always known that he was one to tease and joke around, but you never thought that he'd try to play with your feelings. Were the moments when he acted like he cared, the moments when he would hold onto your hand and play with your hair during class, when he gave you a kiss on the cheek the other day, just a way to toy with you?

"Y..You don't..?" You asked softly, a small frown appearing on your lips. "That's your line!" The apparition snapped. "Gah! I-I'm sorry!" You stammered.

"You're sorry?! What?! This isn't the way it works at all!" A voice boomed out, causing you to quickly pull your hands away from Hanako's and look for the owner of the voice. "When someone tells you how they feel, the proper thing to do is reciprocate!" [Lemme just say this, I love the confession tree's voice so freakin much lmao]

Suddenly the world around you both became dark, and the once normal tree began to grow. "What's it d-doing?" You mumbled as Hanako took out his knife and stood in front of you. "Just stay back." He muttered, his Hakujoudai floating around him putting his cape on.

"Hello Kodama, this is my friend, Y/N." Hanako smirked, holding onto you as he pointed his knife at the tree apparition. "Since you only appear to couples, I say it's a good thing I have her, wouldn't you?" He chuckled.

So...it really was all just a lie.

"I am guilty of nothing but healing broken hearts!" The Kodama barked. "I only desire to make everyone happy!" [Hehe, get it? Cause it's a tree and— Okay, I'll stop now-]. Swinging it's branch as Hanako made his move, defeating the tree.

⋆✧—— ✧ *⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧——⋆✧

"Wait...this was the tree?" You asked with a deadpanned expression, looking down at the once tall and large Confession Tree, but now a tiny shrub. "It's called a Kodama, a type of tree apparition." Hanako explained with a shrug. "He's the one responsible for the unnatural increase in couples you've been seeing around here."

"Ah, makes sense now.." You murmured, looking away from him. "A-anyways, I um..have to get going." You sighed. Then heartache from earlier's 'confession' was still fresh, all you wanted to do was just go home and pretend that the day never happened.

"Hmm? But whyyy?" Hanako groaned, floating over to you. "Oh! I think I know what's going on. You thought it was a real confession, didn't ya?" He teased, placing a hand on your shoulder. But his playful expression soon turned into a shocked one once he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Why do you always g-get my hopes up?" You whimpered, letting out a shaky breath as you took his hand off your shoulder. Turning to face him, your whimpers turning into small sobs. "I'm s-so done with you p-playing with m-my heart like th-that! Why the hell w-would you kiss m-me on the cheek?! O-Or hold o-onto my hand?!" You cried. "Was it a-all for fun?!"

"Y-You were tired and vulnerable to attacks! I gave you a protection charm so that apparitions couldn't harm you for a w-while!" Hanako explained, stepping away a bit. "You should've s-said that!" You exclaimed, your hands turning into fists. "I'm so d-done with you and your s-stupid tricks! I should've never f-fallen for you!" With that, you turned back around and walked over to the gate. "I gotta g-go..I'll...see you l-later.." you muttered.

Hanako stood there, stunned. Never should've fallen for him? You..you liked him? The way he likes you? Everything he said in the confession was true, he truly did love you, but he needed to take care of the Kodama. He never would've thought that you felt the same. And the fact that he made practically the only person he can really talk to cry? He could never forgive himself.

Just as you were about to walk through the gate, you felt a hand grab your wrist, stopping you. You turned around to face the ghost boy who had his hat off, and such a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry.." he said softly, adverting his gaze. "Believe me, I never meant to make you cry.." Taking a deep breath, he let out the four words you’ve only dreamt of hearing him say.

“I love you too...”

Your eyes widened slightly, processing what he had just said. Was this another one of his pranks..? No..By the look in his eyes, you could tell this was a sincere confession. "I've loved you for a while now, actually. I just...never plucked up the courage to ever tell you.." Hanako said with a small, sad chuckle. He let go of your wrist and placed his hand softly on your cheek, wiping away the rest of your tears.

"I'm sorry for playing with your feelings, please believe me when I say that was never my intention. I hope that you can...forgive me.." He mumbled. A small blush made it's way to your cheeks as you leaned into his cold yet somehow...warm touch. "Of course.." You said, a soft smile appearing on your face. "And..I love you too..."

Hanako looked into your eyes, his face leaning closer to yours until your lips touched. It wasn't a rough or lusty kiss, it was a soft one that held so much love and adoration. You immediately kissed back, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him closer to you.

The two of you pulled apart after a few seconds, leaning your foreheads against one another's. "So...What'dya say? You wanna be the girlfriend of the 7th Wonder of The School?" Hanako asked, a small smirk on his lips. You giggle softly and kiss his patch-less cheek. "Of course, that's what I've wanted for a while." You said, watching a small blush cover the Wonder's face.

"I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, Bathroom Boy." You teased, taking your arms away from him and pulled away from his embrace. Hanako rolled his eyes playfully and put his hat back on as he watched you walk away. “Bye, N/N.” He chuckled, then turned around to walk back into the school.

[devinescribe]

Ruin Us

Chapter 14 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares, mentions of rape, death threats, panic attacks and I think that's about it

You hoped you didn't have nightmares.

But hoping for such a thing was wishful thinking.

"No... nonononono, silly girl! He's not here. You should check down there, I heard his father called for him," the voice taunted. You hated that voice. "Oh! Or maybe he's up there! Where you found his note! Maybe he really did it this time!"  You stood in a dark room. The walls, floor, ceiling were pitch black. There was only light was a dim light where you stood.

You didn't know where the voice was coming from. All you knew was that it was taunting you.

"He's fine," you said, your hands shaking even though your voice sounded brave. "Is he?" The voice laughed. "Nonononononono! I think you're mistaken! He's over here!" The voice said, getting distorted with every 'no' it said. In the room, a screen in front of you lit up. It showed a video of you two being on the roof, and suddenly him falling off. You gasped. Another screen lit up. Another, another, another. And which each one, a new way of him dying.

You covered your ear. You couldn't stand it. All around you was noise. He was crying. He was screaming. He was begging you to help. You couldn't. You screamed, "Stop it! Make it stop!"  repeatedly as if it would. All the screens shut off. You were panting, and shaking, tears you didn't know had formed fell from your eyes. You dropped to the floor. "You're a liar! He's fine!" You screamed out into the darkness. You heard slow dragging footsteps getting close to you. "Is he? Or are you lying again?" The voice said. As it got closer, you started to recognize it. "You're a liar liar pants on fire!" The voice sounded younger this time. Even still, you knew who it was. "Liar! Why are you such a liar!" It shouted, going back to sounding like him. Just distorted. The footsteps got even closer, and you could finally see the body of the person. The face was covered by the shadows. "I'm not a liar! Not! I'm not I'm not I'm not!" You shouted. "You are! Liar!" It hissed. Why was it saying it in his voice? It hurt so much more coming from him. "I-i didn't lie to you, I promise!" You whimpered. "You promised you wouldn't lie... why would you lie to me? I trusted you," he asked. It sounded like he was crying. "I-i didn't! You can still trust me!" You cried. "Why did you lie to me?"

You woke up with a start, sitting up. You gasped, holding a hand to your chest. You looked besides you. Niragi was still there. You started crying quietly, curling up next to him. "Hngh... eh? What's wrong sweetheart?" You heard Niragi groan sleepily. "I-it was so scary!" You whimpered, hiding your face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly. "Are you mad at me? I'm sorry I lied to you, I was scared I'm sorry please don't hate me," you rambled, tears soaking through his shirt. " 'M not mad... we talked about this already. I'm just happy you're ok... did you have a nightmare?" He asked. You nodded.

You had been having a lot of nightmares recently. Most having to do with Niragi. This was one of the worst ones.

You had had nightmares since you were a kid. You had them when you met Niragi. You've kept having them into your adult life.

You woke up with a start. Without thinking, you wiped the tears from your eyes, and got up from bed. You went over to the balcony, and started to climb down the stairs you had made.

You were soon on the ground, and ran over to Niragis house. His light wasn't on like it usually was. Was he a sleep? Then you saw a sticky note on his window. ''I'm in the tree house working on something. If you need anything don't be afraid to go back there. There's a flashlight in the bush by my window since I know you're scared of being alone in the dark. Be safe (Y/N)," you read the note. You sniffled, and found the flashlight.

Walking through the path at night was terrifying. Anything or anyone could jump out at any moment.

But the safety of the lights on in the tree house, made you run to it. You found the ladder, held the flashlight in your mouth, and began climbing. Once you got up there, you saw Niragi working on something on the desk. Just like his note had said.  "Gi-gi..." you whispered. He turned around with a smile. Whatever he was working on on his desk, he hid from your view. "(Y/N), what's up?" He asked. You walked over, but he stopped you. "Here, let's go over there," he said, grabbing your hand. He lead you over to the beanbag chairs you had.

"So, what's up?" He asked once more. "Had a nightmare," you whispered. It must have been bad if you came out to look for him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. "It was really scary this time! I-i didn't know if it was a dream, or if... if it had really happened, so I came to look for you. You always make me feel better," you whimpered, hugging him. He hugged you back, knowing you were probably not feeling the best right now. If you were crying it must be bad. "It's ok... tell me if you want," he whispered. You nodded, and he got up, leading you with him. First, he grabbed some blankets, and then he turned off the light. You followed him around, till he pulled you down on the beanbags again. "And you made me get up why?" You asked with a small laugh. "Because. Anyways... you still want to talk about it?"

"Are you ok? Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, yawning after he finished. You looked over seeing it was 2 am. You had woken him up. It seemed like you couldn't do anything right this night. You felt so utterly guilty, helpless, and tired that you just started sobbing. "I- I'm sorry imsorryimsorryimsorry," you apologized through hiccuping sobs. He looked down through sleepy eyes, and gently rubbed your back. "It's alright... you didn't do anything wrong sweetheart," he whispered. That nickname... Why was it making you feel weird?

"Sweetheart-"

"My sweetheart-"

"- sweetheart"

That's why. It's the nickname he had had for his ex girlfriends. He was tired, he probably wasn't thinking straight. No way would he call you that nickname if he weren't so tired.

It was reserved for his lovers. You knew you weren't his lover. It made you feel ...

Sad?

Why would you be sad, you liked him as a friend, didn't you?

"C-can... can I tell you... why I hadn't told you about what happened?" You whispered. "Of course. Go ahead," he said softly.

"If you tell that fucking loser what happened here today, you're dead. And so is he. Got it?" They threatened, gripping onto your hair tightly, pulling you up by it. You tried nodding, tears falling from your eyes. "I can't fucking hear you, slut," one spat, pulling a knife from his pocket. You flinched. "Y-yes! I got it!" You shouted through sobs. He let you go, your body falling to the ground. "Good. Let's go."

You lay there, unable to move. Not because of them, but because you couldn't. Getting up meant having to face the reality of what happened. Getting up would mean going home, cleaning up, and pretending this hadn't happened. Getting up would mean not telling Niragi. Getting up to you, meant letting them win.

But you had to get up.

So you did. Picking yourself off from the floor, you leaned on the tree behind you for support. You found your backpack, and grabbed it quickly, not wanting to stay here for a minute longer. Then you remembered that your clothes must be stained. You looked down to see blood running down your leg. "This really fucking happened...." you whimpered as tears filled your eyes. You fell to your knees, clutching your chest. You let out a loud scream as sobs racked through your whole body. You were scared, dirty, and guilty. All you could think about was having to face Niragi. Having to look at him, reminding him of the promises you'd made, but breaking one of them without him knowing. For the rest of your life. You felt horrible. You wanted to go home, and fall asleep forever.

"(Y-y/N)... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I blew up at you about it sweetheart. I was being really fucking selfish darling. You... you've been through much more than I have. Yet you're still a better fucking person than I'll ever be. I... I had no right to be angry, upset, or disappointed in you. I didn't. It wasn't fair to you," he apologized, holding onto your tightly. You sniffled, snuggling into him further. '' S'ok... you didn't know," you whispered. "No. It's not. It's not ok at all. This is what I mean! You've only known people being cruel to you! Your father, the guys at school, people at work, goddammit people on the streets! And you've only ever been kind! Even when people don't deserve your forgiveness you give it to them! You might be cruel sometimes, but you've only been cruel to those who deserve it! My mother was kind! I had you! My grandmother! Your grandmother! I had a girlfriend in high school for a while! People have been kind to me, but I'm the worst fucking person! I don't... I don't deserve... your forgiveness," he yelled, sitting up, getting quieter at the end. He hated how he made this about himself. He didn't mean to, he really didn't. It just came out. "That's not true Suguru. You do deserve it. I've had people that were kind to me. I had you. I didn't need anything else. That was enough for me," you said, sitting up next to him. You put a hand on his shoulder, and smiled. "It's (Y/N) and Suguru against the world, forever and always right?" You giggled. "Yeah... (Y/N) and Suguru against the world... forever and always," he answered.

His thoughts were getting clouded over. You were there. You were so sweet. So nice. Adventurous, crazy, synical, caring, apathetic, confident, clever, funny. Everything at once. A contradiction of a woman. Perfect. That was another way to describe you. Everything he's ever wanted. He turned to face you, noticing how your eyes kept glancing at him.

You were also trapped in your thoughts. He had called you sweetheart and darling. While he was no longer tired. Two names reserved for lovers. What did that mean? Was he just overcome with emotion in that moment? He was your best friend. You did notice the butterflies in your stomach when he had said it. Each time seeming stronger than the last. A feeling of that's the way it was supposed to be. Like he was meant to call you those things. Like those words were made specifically for him to call you by them. You saw him staring at your face, trying to study you as well.

"Do you need something?" You asked with a smile. "Yeah, actually. You."

That was all he said, before pulling you into him. Your lips met with his own, and it felt like a puzzle was finally solved. A story getting it's happy ending. Magic. You kissed him back with just as much passion. It felt right. For his hands to be on you. For his lips to be on your own. For his skin to be on yours. It had felt right back then, and it still felt right now.

All the years that you had wondered why your relationships didn't work out were answered with this one kiss. Niragi. It was because you never loved them. You loved Niragi.

Niragi felt the same. Questions that were finally answered to him as well. He now knew his mother was right. He really did love you. That's why he never had interest in anyone. The girls he dated or slept with had never really been interesting to him. He only dated them to not make them feel bad. But really, it was you. You were the right choice...

And then he pulled away. Just as suddenly as the kiss had happened. "I... I need to go," he stated, getting off of your bed, out towards the door. "W-wait I-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he was gone. Out of the door, leaving you alone, confused, and sad. "Of course he regretted it... he doesn't like me that way. He was just in an emotional state that clouded his judgement... I... I am but a fool if I thought anything besides that," you whispered as tears filled your eyes.

As soon as he closed the door to your room, he ran into his.

"Fuck! Why did I do that? 15 years of friendship ruined. Gods I'm so dumb!" He yelled into his pillow. He didn't notice the tears that stained his pillow. He didn't care. 'Now you're truly alone. Great job. You're so good at ruining things Niragi. It should be your professional job! Niragi Suguru, professional opportunity ruiner! Niragi Suguru professional loner! You're so good at being alone, count that as the only thing you're good at!' The voice in his head taunted him. It taunted him for being so stupid to think a woman like you would ever love someone like him. For being alone. It brought up the fact he was alone so much, he felt his room grow smaller, and the breath in his lungs grow shorter. He couldn't see straight. His chest felt tight. The darkness in his room grew darker. Until he passed out.

[damonsvftie]

𝐆𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲

MASTERLIST☁️

Summary: Your toxic relationship with Draco Malfoy comes crashing down, when he treats you like some sort of ‘Blow-Up-Doll’ making you feel insignificant and inferior. After all not all married couples end up living happily ever after.

Note: PURE ANGST. Also there’s no happy ending im sorry yall! But sometimes it’s unrealistic for a happy ending all the time :( also based on the song ‘Gave it Away/Jason’s Song - Ariana Grande’

Yeah, you really tried

But I was planted all the lies you told me, oh

All the shit you've done

You can't outrun the way you understand me

PRESENT:

“I WISH I NEVER MARRIED YOU!” I yelled in his face, my face flushed with pure anger.

“All the shit you’ve done and you STILL THINK YOUR RIGHT? Is that your EXCUSE?” The last of my words exaggerating.

“I haven’t done anything to you and if you can’t seem to believe me then LEAVE-,” he firedback before storming away slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.

Marrying Draco Malfoy was probably the biggest regret of my life. I full on remember how significant that day was for me, especially when we completed our wedding vows. The kiss felt as if it were just the two of us and as if everyone else had disappeared. It felt like everything was a dream and now suddenly all of it came crashing down.

You acted like you bought me at a bargain sale

You don't even care

You focused your frustration on a small detail

Blew it out of scale, like my ponytail

I don’t even know what had gotten into him in the past year . He was the most valuable person in my life and he use to treat me like I was some type of royalty. His acts of love made our bond stronger and he was always there for me, wether it be the times I would cry on his shoulder or I’d cry tears of joy but all of it had changed. He wasn’t the same Draco Malfoy that I had known.

PAST EVENTS:

He started treating me like he had bought me from a bargain sale. As if I were insignificant. Things started taking a turn for the worst when he would lash out at me, for the most silliest reasons making me severely doubt myself. He no longer treated me like I wanted to and all I wanted was to be loved.

Well you don't want to see the girl I want to be

Then why, then why should I listen

If you don't want to do the things I need from you

Goodbye, goodbye

'Cause I gave it away, I gave it away, I gave it away

And I'm taking it right back

Our relationship was becoming heavily toxic. I wanted to leave the Malfoy Manor and never return back. I was done with him treating me as if I were nothing. I was more than beyond nothing because I for sure knew that I gave it away. I gave my all away.

Flashbacks of me shoving my clothes into my suitcase, after me and Draco had one of our biggest arguments ever, hit me like a slap on the face. Still somehow, I convinced myself that he was just going through a really dark time, since we had just gotten married after the war. I put my mental health aside side just because of him.

I'm no blow up doll, no free-for-all

No slave to your decision, ooh

Gotta find a way to break the spell

To get the hell away from those who block my vision

I neglected the horrible effects of the unhealthy relationship that I was in and how venomous it had really become. Every single week consisted of me breaking down, silently weeping in the corner of my room as I gripped onto chunks of my hair. The feeling of being unwanted and being inferior, lingered onto me as if it were to not leave any sooner than I had imagined.

Every single night we would have an dispute over the tiniest things which regularly ended with me sobbing myself to sleep while he would turn his back towards me, let alone comfort me.

It wasn’t until one day I decided to stick up for myself and not let some narcissist treat me like I was some sort of ‘blow-up-doll’. However it ended up worser than it should. I clearly remember how he had raised his hand to almost smack me but withdrawed, when I had told him that I had to get the hell away from those who blocked my vision.

He full on knew well that if I had left things would go downhill for him and his family.

You used me as a fragment of your grand design, hey

And you, you don't get to put me on your bottom line

You don't get what's mine, and I'm doing fine

The Malfoy’s, a wealthy pureblood family that needed another pureblood slytherin That would take their son’s hand in marriage. Unfortunately at that time I was dating Draco Malfoy. We would lay down onto the grass and admire the beautiful stars while planning what our wedding would be like.

Of course it’s every girls dream to find the love of their life, to live happily married with them but there was no point. The Malfoy’s were aware that if a muggle born or even a halfblood wedded their beloved son, then their reputation would be tarnished and the line of purebloods would no longer be carried out.

Each family event I attended, I felt as if they were using me as a fragment for their grand design, being to keep up the chain of purebloods, since anybody else who wasn’t the same as them was already out of the picture.

I had to put on a false mask and play pretend that I was the most happiest woman on the planet but on the inside I was physically and emotionally dying. There were times where it got to me the most. Just like our regular routine, me and him would argue and then I would be forced to go with him to an event. The whole evening I would feel melancholy and a part of me wanted to rip the expensive dress that was draped around me. A part of me wanted to throw the heels I were wearing in Draco’s face. A part of me wanted to mess up my hair and cry until my mascara came dribbling down my face.

Continuously, I had to repeat to myself that I was more than just his slave and that he just didn’t grasp whatever was mine. He didn’t have to right to put me on his bottom line and I was done playing games.

Said you don't want to see the girl I want to be

Then why, then why would I listen?

You don't want to do the things I need from you

Goodbye, goodbye

I gave it away, I gave it away, I gave it away

I'm taking it right back, baby

Well you don't want to see the girl I want to be

Then why, then why should I listen

If you don't want to do the things I need from you

Goodbye, goodbye

'Cause I gave it away, I gave it away, I gave it away, I gave it away

I'm taking it right back, hey

Taking it right back, baby

Taking it right back

—

“I WISH I HAD NEVER MARRIED YOU!” I yelled in his face, my face flushed with pure anger.

“All the shit you’ve done and YOU STILL THINK YOUR RIGHT? Is that your EXCUSE?” The last of my words exaggerating.

“I haven’t done anything to you and if you can’t seem to agree then LEAVE-,” he firedback before storming away slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.

I packed my bags and hurried down the stairs to the entrance of the house, tears streaming down my face. Why was I crying? He was willingly setting me free after all the pain he had caused me. I was in complete disbelief when I had confronted him on his controlling and abusive behaviour and he completely denied all allegations that I had made against him.

He was blinded by his own actions. He stood glancing at me as I turned my head around one last time looking him in they eye. The pain he had caused me was becoming insufferable and he was finally letting me go.

“Don’t EVER come back,” he snarled, his eyes turning a dark shade of grey.

“Your in luck..,because I won’t,” my voice cracking as I picking up my luggage. I gave him one last glance as tears spilled down my face. Quickly wiping them away, I walked out of the Manor quietly.

I gave everything I had away and I was taking all of it right back. Starting from now